youtube/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE Earning love is crazy and an insanely painful way of living and Ive done it in spades, such an awful waste of time unless of course it is SEEN, then acknowledged and then processed with a real big gutsy honesty in order to liberate ourselves from the illusion. Approaching it like this the lessons learned are numerous and invaluable. In my experience when with someone and any abrasive feelings, thought patterns start to crop up ie frustrated tensions from hampered expectations, leading to unexpressed judgements which then tend to grow into brewing resentments etc, when this occurs it is the perfect opportunity to get CLEAR. In other words to clear up and clean out the BS.. Hopefully two can do this together if not then its a lopsided growth and the relationship may need to end but still its priceless. Its as if such pain has an actual purpose instead of being just a dumb pointless unending sense of dissatisfaction, unhappiness. It is a calling for us to become more an more conscious of the unconscious dynamics! Pain is calling us to really delve deeply and with a searingly brutal honesty into ourselves and how we are relating to our partner or to all of life even. It beckons us to retrospectively unravel the habitually unconscious need/fear based strategies that are being played out in our/my relationship. I see this as all kind of innocently done, just a blind groping, a seeking to find love, find acceptance, or to be seen. Crazy poor human animals. Its all so innocent. We are all born free and grow blind through our years of learned societal conditioned, a behaviour garnered from interaction within our families, friends, in school, in work and with peers (gotta behave a certain way or else you are a bad boy/girl and love or acceptance by the group or in the arms of our parents or our lover may be withheld etc) but if we shine some honest contemplative light on this re-occurring dynamic (and I think that takes a hell of a lot of gutsy courage, as the egoic thoughts only know how to get what they want through manipulative methods if truth be told and it hates to give these methods up, afraid of being alone) we can begin to throw off some of these pesky shackles. We chase that feeling of love outside ourselves in order to taste the actual and real freedom and joy of being in a state of love. That safe warm life affirming place we crave but we mistakenly look out there for it, for a sense of completion, wholeness, outside of ourselves BUT that very love and its lightness of heart, its joie de vivre we ALL already are and naturally and it comes from within but is clouded over by our fear, or by the good old veil of Maya as the Buddhists call it, that fear based sense of separation. In reality we have nothing to prove to anyone about our worthiness. NEVER. Love need not be earned! Our being born here is your only entry ticket needed to be loved or more truly to be love even. Each one, each life form is a fantastic one of a kind piece of the universe here, now residing amid the stars, careening through no time and infinite space in the deepest of mysteries and AS the deepest mystery. How. Frigging. AMAZING! Anyhow, that other way of earning love is us trying to feel lifes love but we seem to have forgotten we are this already. we use to know it back in garden of Eden times just blissfully chilling in the garden. Now we are seeking some sole source of love outside of ourselves to make us Eden like again, make us complete and that is just a never ending cyclical and co dependent affair with life, which is so draining and futile UNLESS it is used to awaken to the unconscious patterns of fear that cloud over our natural eden like state. This painful way of relating in relationship has only one correct use really and that is to grow into more love, releasing those old fear based relating patterns or at least holding them more lightly and seeing this kind of pain as a tool, to see it as a calling from mama nature/life/universal energy/god/love A calling out to its child to shine an intentional light on the painful games, the out of alignment heavy games been played. It is lifes very energy telling us we are out of alignment and need to fall deeper into an accepting lightness of heart and out of the fear based strategizing mind. A surrender of sorts but with healthy boundaries in place and this surrender is not for the faint hearted in my experience. Luck n love to us all.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 01:46:33 +0000
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