1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Twitch a lot. 3. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 4. Speak in tongues. 5. Move you roommates personal effects around. Start subtlety. 6. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them. 7. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, Theyre more than meets the eye. 8. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. The Road Warrior, Repo Man, Casablanca,) almost inaudibly. 9. Collect all your urine in a small jug. 10. Chain yourself to your roommates bed. Get him/ her to bring you food. 11. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are. 12. Ask your roommate if your family can move in just for a couple of weeks. 13. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened. 14. Eat glass. 15. Smile. All the time. 16. Collect dog shit in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate. 17. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously. 18. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you. 19. Leave a declaration of war on your roommates desk. Include a list of grievances. 20. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns. 21. Dye all your underwear lime green. 22. Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet. 23. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty. 24. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks. 25. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them. 26. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley. 27. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with Didja ever wonder why. Be creative. 28. Shave one eyebrow. 29. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall.
Posted on: Thu, 15 Aug 2013 05:53:06 +0000
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