1. With aid of a teleprompter, Barry announces project 2. Unbridled enthusiasm erupts from the establishment news media, labor unions, academia, entertainment media, dead people and illegal aliens. Chris Matthews achieves on-air climax, marries self. 3. Project budget set at $100 billion, twice what it would cost in the private sector, and 200,000 pages of regulations are introduced. 4. Absence of leadership and planning leads to disillusionment and mission creep. No worries, Barrys shooting hoops. 5. Absence of critical thinking skills and problem solving causes budget to double. No worries, it was built into the fine print that the budget could double if needed, and besides, Barrys golfing. 6. Reactionary panic sets in when Valerie Jarrett unexpectedly checks project status while Barrys vacationing in Hawaii and/or Africa. 7. Budget tripled during secret 3 am deal while Barrys polishing the Nobel or playing spades. Witnesses are present to insure plausible deniability that Barry never knew anything about anything. Ever. 8. Immediately after secret 3 am deal, a secret 3:05 am deal is struck in which Congress, White House, the judiciary, labor unions, school teachers, college professors, Federal workers, screen actors guild, and illegal immigrants are exempted from impacts and ramifications of project. At subsequent press briefing, Jay Carney sternly asserts that dead people are not exempt, then rolls eyes at question. 9. Project rollout reported as abject failure by Drudge, Breitbart, Blaze 10. Establishment media blames Bush, blame House Republicans, blames gateway gridlock. Jay Carney walks out on press briefing when he realize his Xanax is in his other pants. 11. Celebrities, academics, and pundits indiscriminately portray Tea Party and Limbaugh listeners as racist bigots. 12. Search undertaken for a suitable scapegoat as far removed from the Obama White House as possible 13. Punishment of the innocent, preferably a rogue, low level functionary, acting alone and in another city. Ideally, this individual is a registered Republican 14. Barry holds a press conference surrounded by children. Biden attends, cries; pregnant woman faints on cue. 15. Another $1 trillion is added to the project budget 16. A limping, barely functional, scaled-back version of the project is rolled out 12 months behind schedule. Barrys approval rating soars to 114% among Democrats. GOP approval rating sinks to 7% among self-identified conservatives for letting him get away with it. 17. Obama, who has more flexibility since the election is over, severs diplomatic ties to Israel, attends the opening of the Ground Zero mosque, implements a $17.00 per gallon gas tax, orders an IRS audit of all registered Republicans, builds wind farms in Antarctica to provide power to South America, annexes Mexico as the 51st through 57th states. 18. LBJs prophecy that I’ll have those ni**ers voting Democratic for the next 200 years” is proven true when the GOP splinters into not two but three new political parties. 19. Constitution suspended, Hillary elects herself Emperor and reigns for 37 years as the world around her is destroyed. 20. Huffington Post, which operates with smoke signals, blames armageddon on angry backwards selfish rich white male bigoted racist homophobic xenophobic Islamophobic war-mongering fear-mongering knuckle-dragging fetus-worshiping slope-headed misogynistic fringe right-wing flyover redneck nut-job Tea Baggers. Blatantly stolen from Breitbart user Stassinopoulos Post
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 17:55:15 +0000
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