#11114-Hi all, I dont know whats happening to me , I am just not able to be happy . I switched company within a year and got a good hike and relaxed work. I am shaping up my career the way I wanted to be. I should be happy about it, but i am not being able to . I had a years drop during my engineering, because of which I graduated a year later. I did not let my parents know about it and somehow saved money by giving tutions to kids and payed my fees and completed my graduation . I joined Infosys within a week after my final semester and my result came after 2 months which reflected that I have a first class graduation degree. That day tears rolled out of joy.. it happened to me for the first time in life .I was happy as in a way I was never unemployed after my graduation . But still I have not been able to forgive myself for not telling my parents about my drop. Later I did tell them, they were shocked and unhappy about it but may be they have moved on as I have started earning like the regular graduates and was working in a MNC like all other regular graduates. I never had a love life like everyone of my age. I liked a guy I had told him about it he never said yes and never said no. We used to talk about everything under the earth and he did sometime made me feel as if he liked me too.Recently he got engaged to a girl of his choice which he had never told me about. I felt like cheated and played with, still cant do anything about it so i stopped giving attention. Tried to move on . There is this guy in my current organization who says he likes me. I went to his place for studies as he is senior and I had an Interview . He did help me .Later that night we made out pretty wild . It was first time for me . That was the first time I was touched by a guy. I did not let him take my V thing but still I have this guilt in me, that why did I let him do it . I do like him, but why did I made out with him. I am just not being able to forgive myself . with all these happenings I dont I have become pretty cynical about everything. I feel like I am a wasted space. I am not a perfect daughter , I dont have a love life , I could not live upto the expectations of my parents .My mother always says that I have let them down... and I dont deny that too... I want to be forgiven... I want to be accepted... I want to be respected like others.. I want to be loved... Is it too much to ask for ? A girl... Exinfoscian Bangalore #sorryforthelongpost
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 08:44:12 +0000
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