18 plus ooMust Read: Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy Part 1 *This story is by Danladiii, read below..* NewTwitterNotification: “Danlad wassup?, You coming to the GIG at Michael’s house?” This was a DM(Direct Message) I got from Asamoah on the 24th of december 2012. Asamoah whom I call “A$AP Blackey” was my very first Ghanian friend, he was tall, dark(y’all know) and he was from a rich background, 4th and the only son out of the family of 8 (5kids, 2wives, 1Husband). At 17(same age as I was), Asamoah already knew how to drive as he blackmailed the drivers into giving him car keys to go anywhere he wanted. Cut the details short, he was a spoilt brat lost in a Garden city belonging to victoria (VGC). Michael was Asamoah’s snr in school (Greensprings to be precise). Did I tell you how endowed asamoah’s sisters were? I don’t know how they do the magic but Ghanian girls rock!!!!!!!. Well, back to reality . Me: “Dude, I am broke, my Uncle travelled and I got no Tfare, talkless of tickets to enter Micheal’s party” Asamoah: ”Lol! Ur 419 uncle don run from EFCC again? No worry, I go come pick you, and ticket is a Boy n a Girl” Asamoah: “Abeg I beg you, no carry babe wey u get feelings for come oh!, heard there will be pools and lotta empty rooms” Asamoah: “Sha check the details @ my last tweet” At this point, as a young cultured boy from a humble home, I was wondering: “what type of event centre do pools and rooms?”. Mind you, I attended a government school(Secondary) somewhere in Ajah, Lagos. Recently moved in with my uncle to assist him in his business, and the only time I got to touch the Steering of his Honda EOD and Toyota Prado was when I was washing the cars. Trust me, I wash car sotey I almost went to PEAK Talent show to showcase my car washing talent . Ohh! Did I tell you that Kida Kudz was Michael’s buddy? However, the new question now is: “How Did I get to associate with these rich kids?” Lol!, Shoutout to RCCG City Of David parish and Jesus Embassy Parish. If you know those churches, you will understand my point. And when I role with my uncle (who stays in a neighbouring estate on lekki expressway), you will think am one hell of an Ajebota(Born with Silver spoon). (Back to convo) Me: Aiite Bro, but abeg you go borrow me that your Christian Louboutin shoes oh! Which of d event centres tho? Asamoah: Ahaha! Charlie, I go bring Chucks for you jare. And its at Micheal’s house. Him papa don travel, e mama na soji woman” Like seriously? How spoilt can these kids be? Na me go get mind host party for my Papa house? Abi na my mama go gree make I invite friends for party? Well, as a comfirm Edo boy, I arranged, packaged and ironed my characters. Was about replying when MTN sent me a message that I exhausted my MB(I wished they sent it earlier!!!!!!),then I used the last 10naira to message Asamoah. “MB don finish oh Guy, abeg help me arrange any greensprings girls.. I no wan carry classmates wey dey on lowcut go dia fah. And when u come, shout well well make my uncle wife hear you say “Today is a special Xmas Eve hosted by the City Of David’s Youth! Why you never bath?”. Charlie abeg no fall my hands!! OUTTAHERE!” Then I dropped my Nokia X2 asap, ran to do the chores (Please if you are a married woman, married to a wealthy man, don’t ever treat his siblings/Family Badly. Abeg!!!) . Even with my Uncle wife’s 3 sisters[Esther(22), Faith(18), Abigail(16)] around, I still had to do the works, while they behave like they started from the bottom with my uncle. Hence, the reason I started calling myself the Lekki Houseboy. Definitely not a cool experience I tell you. Seeing your uncle being controlled by some woman because her Dad is a major contract provider, and ME, that came to chop company money now being used as houseboy.. Chaiiii! ====Part 2==== After the chores, I picked one or two clothes my uncle gave to me before he travelled. Straight to the backyard to wash the Paul Smith shirt in it. “Oh Lord! God Bless that tailor!!” I said in my mind as I stood to laugh at the XL on the label right on the reflection of me in the windows. The tailors opposite the estate are my best friends by the way, to the extent that once they see me at their door, the say “Uncle don dash you again?”, and sometimes, I tell them I don’t have money and they do it free for me. (As a comfam customer). Getting to the backyard, I saw a blessing in disguise!!! Lol! Well, let me tell you why I had to wash at the backyard. My Uncle’s wife caught me washing my clothes in my ROOM and made me starve for days, calling me a village boy. Which was true, as I spent my first 14years in the village. But she now ordered I start washing my clothes at the backyard, and this faithful day was my very first. Which marked the end of an Era Earpiece plugged to my ear with Davido’s Dami Duro song Jamming, I headed to the backyard. Passing the store room, I felt like I was shouting because I was singing along to the rave of the moment, so I paused my music to test my voice, but what I heard was a soft moan coming from the store room. This was strange! As the store room was ummm.. A store room. So I positioned myself, like the way I used to do when I wanna watch Indecency from neighbour’s window. (R.I.P Dayo). As I drew closer to the window, the moaning became clearer! Damn, it was just like it was in Indecency. As it was a store room, it had no cottons and the window wasn’t completely closed. But the sun was rising, I immediately remembered something about shadows in physics, so I applied physical calmness. As I tiptoed to the window like a Ninja, I saw Abu. Abu was a family friend to my uncle who came to visit earlier in the morning. But I couldn’t see the girl he was on due to the small opening on the window. I tried guessing, this was when I remembered Abigail and Faith went out in the morning while I was washing their sister’s car. So, I concluded it was Esther, in these thoughts, I tiptoed back to where I abandoned my Mission “Wash Paul Smith” for party. Standing, bitting my nails and thinking of what JACK SPARROW would have done, I reminisced on things Esther had done to me. Treating me like an house boy, making me eat left overs and even insulting my Mum/Dad.. Which I hated so much!!!! Oh My!, I was so lost in thoughts to remember that I was having a hard on from the live Indecency I just watched. I had to position my lagbaja (Penees, Deeck, Anyhow ) very well when I got back to reality, so, I headed back to the house, leaving the bucket, soap(bathing soap, she refused giving me omo), and the shirt.. Straight to the house with my evil thoughts. In my Perry Cole boxers, Lagbaja was now flaccid when I entered the house, behold.. I got the shock of the year!!! (Ok! It was december 24th, and it was the shock of the year at that time.) I opened the Door, looking straight to the direction of my room when someone called from the kitchen wing “Danladii!!”.. At this Moment, I was like a confused confuse(no word for it I guess ). The rate at which Lagbaja inflated couldn’t be determined at that moment, . All I knew was that If Perry Cole saw me in those boxers, he would be depressed. . I managed to look back, and there she was, standing closed to the dinning table, still in her nighties, her hair scattered. And I stood, praying that God turns me into an Owl(Do you know owls can turn their heads in 360degrees? Well, now we know.). WATCH OUT FOR PART 3.do nt message me privately for more
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 07:08:31 +0000
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