2 years since that morning in the hospital where I laid on your chest and listened to your heart beat so strong, telling you that youre going to be okay - that we are going to be okay.. Not knowing you had gently slipped from me whilst I had slept on you. Where I was so use to sleeping on you. My favourite place, buried into your neck, arms wrapped around me and feeling incredibly loved and safe. the moment I was told you wasnt with us anymore hurt too much for words. I crumbled and I broke into a million pieces. And each and every day I do the same. Not a day goes by where I havent needed you baby, needed a cuddle to reassure me, a kiss to tell me Im loved.. You just to make me feel alive, wanted, confident. You made me someone I didnt think I was, you made me feel good enough to be happy. I still need you today baby, 2 years ago I didnt think I would be here. I dont know how Ive continued to put one foot infront of the other - because life is unbearable without you. You promised me you would never leave me, you promised me youd never hurt me and that you would always love me - and this isnt your doing but those things have come true. You were taken from me and now Im left to live without you. You were taken and I was crushed - Ive never felt pain like it.. And you were taken - and I hope you loved me then. I dont know how many tears I have cried, I dont know how many times I have hugged my pillow wishing it was you, or hoping it would hug me back. I dont know how many times I have prayed for you to come home or how many times Ive just asked why. I love you baby, I loved you the first moment I saw you and I loved you always. Baby I will love you forever - and this will never change. Only thing that has changed is where we are during all this. You feel like a million miles aways from me, and somedays I feel you a little closer but its not the same as having you here, close enough to touch you. Feel you. Tell you I love you. Every day is a test to keep walking forward for me, and I do it as each day is one step closer to an eternity with you. I miss you so much, and I miss us. I miss every single thing we ever did. I miss the play fights, the real ones, I miss the kisses and the cuddles.. I miss the way you looked at me and I miss the way youd leave your stuff all round my room. I miss watching you shower and I miss watching a film with you each night. I miss how you made me feel and I miss the butterflies each time I knew I was going to see you. Youre my better half and my one and only. I love you baby. Ride those skies, pin it down those straights, around the long windy corners and I hope they threw in some crazy assed hair pins!!! Until we meet again baby, I love you. Yours always.....
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 08:20:43 +0000
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