#216 . . ."its been around an year i came 2 delhi. i came here 4 my graduation. i had a very cute loving n honest relashnship. v r 2gthr since highscool. dats a long time, v had know each othr for. rom sharing lunch box 2 sharing our darkest secrets. he is also lik my bst frnd. bt den things went wrong. n 2 cut d story short i basicly blamed him 4 my bad 12th bord results. i shouted 8 him mistreated him. i did d things v nvr thot wud hapen in OUR relashnship. bt i did. n during all dis time he almost kept quite. he realy flt bad dat i blamed him n dat 2 so badly. if i wud hv nt gone mad 8 him he himself wud hv confesd n said a thousnd sorry. bt i didn realized these things @ dat time. i wish i cud had..... i ws all floded wid angr n rage n a lot of shame(coz of bad marks). it ws actuly dat humiliation of bad marks dat turnd me lik dat. bt watevr d fault ws MINE. n i jst didnt stopd here. i made this rash decisn 2 come 2 delhi far far away from him. ofcourse he wanted 2 stop me bt he didnt uttered a word. i ws fimally shifting wid all my stuff. i ws wid my family in d train. he got in dat n jst stood by d door. never leaving an opportunity 2 hv a glimps of me. lukly my seat ws near d door. bt i cudnt look 8 him coz if my mom wud hv noticed dis i wud get into troubl. finally i made an excuse 4 washroom n jst got a momnt 2 say gud bye. he gave me a keyring wid a smily. dat ws jat 2 remind me dat always be happy so wat if nt wid u, jst keep smiling..... aftr 1 or 2 station he had 2 go. he cudnt go wid me all d way 2 delhi. d eye contact i had wid him 8 d door took my breath away. those pleading eyes litrly begging me nt 2 go, as if he jst wana hold me tit n nvr let me go away. i ws all numb, bt on d inside smthing ws happening. i started 2 feel realy creepy. i didnt knew wat it was coz angr ws al ovr my mind. i reachd delhi 2 3 days went in setlng doen. n den jst wn i ws wondring did i made a wrong decision i got dis, my new colage life. i ws all mesmrized n lost. i got new frndz new things 2 do n a new stardum. n coz our relashinship ws in a bad condition it didnt gave me any joy. so i jst kept ignoring him. i strted filling up dat place wid all d new stuff i had. n as STD plans r costlier v didnt evn takd much. n on fb.... i usd 2 b so busy wid my farm dat feeding cow was mor of n imp. task den replyng him. i insted of accepting fault n solving d problm ran away from it. 1 day v had a convrsasn on phone he said "" i wana return all ur cards n gifts u gave me coz dey all remind me of u, n dats wat i dont want"". i ws all blnk. all d tim v takd eithr i ws enthusiastcly shouting n telling how good or happy i flt wn i did this or dat n everythng or totl blnk. coz der ws nothng common 2 tak abt. now i realize how shattered he mst used 2 feel realizing i dont need him n his love n care n affection any longr 2 b happy. 1 sunday morning@ 6 i got a cal. i ws lik who is dis it was him. he said i had snd all ur stuff thru 1 of my frnd. he is outside ur room n tak it. i ws only haf awak widout thinking i wnt out n i ws compltly shokd.... it ws he. i mean y wud a boy telling a lie 8 his home, wud travell around 500 km jst 4 a broken relashnship. bt he did. i got ready n reached him as soon as possibl. i ws really happy. nxt day ws his bday. n thank god he came othrwise i wudnt hv not done anythng spcl 4 him. i had plan bt i hadnt done any efforts yet. d place i knew most abt delhi till now wer d metro stasns. n v decided 2 travell 2 all d last stations of metro. those 2 days wr d bst i spent in delhi. v both quite ignored d bitrnes dat had entered our relatnship. d bst gift i gave him ws a promis "" i promise 2 turn bak 2 d sweet lil grl from dis develish grl. i promised 2 love him lik i did"" n i realy ment it coz i loved him . i nvr flt so safe b4 in delhi. i wakd down d street wid more confidence coz i knew my man ws here. i ws actuly proud of him. time passed n he had 2 go. v reached rajiv chok. insted of his sayng no i reqsted n went 2 drop him. he had 2 go 2 new delhi stsn bt he said ""aftr u ll leave only den ill go"". v wr takng 2 each othr n makng promises, looking @ each othr to fill our eyes wid as many glimps of eact oth as possibl. den came my metro. my heart shank @ dat very momnt. i didnt wantd 2 go. oh god plzz let me b wid him. i got into d metro n stood jst near d door so dat i cud look @ him. chisssssss.... d metro door closes. flt lik jumping off d metro n jst go n hug him n kiss him n tell him dat how guilty i m feeling rite now n how badly i wana b in his arms. bt its nt an SRK movi. so d metro movd n v watch ech othr till d site vanishd. @ dat momnt i hated myslf litrly i flt lik cheee. how cn i b so mean i mean even aftr all dis he is lik he KNOWS, nt even faith or trust, he actuly is lik he KNOWS i love him n things ll b fine, its jst a bad phase v r gng thru. i went home n cried lik hell coz realizing wat i did 2 him n d worst part was his trust on me. of god those eyes wn he looks 8 me wid them, wid all dat affction, i feel lik suciding. how cud i do dis. bt 2 d worst.... time ran by n i ws lost agn in d mist. things agn went wrng. bt now wn i walk down those streets n espcialy those metro stsn v went 2gthr i jst feel dat lonlyness. i even had dat experince in real lik dey show in movis, in a crowded place wid all d fast moving vehicles its jst u n u n nobody, u feel so lonly. our sweet loving realshnship turnd into memories only..... ""babu i m sorry.... i know its all my fault. n realizing dat u still love me kills me more. i realy dont wana hurt u anymore plz jst 4giv me if possibl 4 wat all i did.... i m sorry..!!""". . .#tOxy-innaaaa kaise likha lia???:/
Posted on: Sun, 21 Jul 2013 16:36:33 +0000
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