#3347 After thinking really long and really hard this whole summer, Ive finally come to the decision that I will not be having children. Maybe it seems weird that Ive already decided that when Im only in college and have a good few years before I finally have to start thinking about having a family, but this is necessary for me to feel sure and happy about my own future. I used to get so anxious when I thought about life after college; Id hopefully attend my preferred graduate school, move to an area with many opportunities in my desired field, enjoy life for a few years, and then... have a family? That was the part that panicked me. My 30s and 40s were suddenly not going to be my own to live, and I had only so much time to do what I wanted and 20 years were going to be given to someone else. I want the time to go to the places I want to go and to pursue the interests I never had a chance to pursue because I had spent so much time focused on school. I want to live where I actually want to live and have the house that Ive always imagined for myself. If I couldnt do this on my own Id be fine with that; Id know I wasnt doing enough. Id be filled with so much regret if I knew I couldnt because I had to chosen to have children. It didnt even occur to me until this summer that I could just... Not have any kids. Did someone tell me I had to? Is there some rule that everyone has to go through the motion of raising of a family? That you wont be fulfilled by not adhering to this social norm? No, theres not. You can call me selfish, that Ill never understand true love until I have kids, that hormones will kick in and Ill change my mind. You know, maybe I will change my mind and Ill find someone that I want to raise a family with. But I am not selfish for choosing myself over a being that does not even exist in this world yet. I have the agency to make my own, rational decisions regardless of what my hormones tell me to do. Cant I argue that youre the selfish one for trying to make someone else live the life you want to live? I still have a lot of research to do about long term birth control and even possibly surgery, but already knowing that this is the course I want to take with my life is finally, for ONCE, making me excited about my future.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 03:15:14 +0000
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