#34 After disputing with myself I open the text to read it, and before I even start with the reading I notice that its long, too long and I get tired without even reading it. MY DARLING MAMKHIZE, IT SADDENS ME THAT WE HAVE BEEN TORN APART TO THE POINT WHERE YOU HAVE LOST RESPECT FOR ME. I KNOW I DID YOU WRONG AND I AM ALSO AWARE THAT IT WILL TAKE A LOT TO GET YOU TO TRUST ME AGAIN. I MISS THE KIDS, I WANT TO BE PART OF THEIR DAILY LIVES LIKE BEFORE. I MISS HEARING YOU SING IN THE SHOWER, I MISS WAKING UP BESIDE YOU. I MISS ALL THE CRAZY THINGS THAT WE DID TOGETHER AS A COUPLE AND AS A FAMILY… I take a deep breath slightly exhausted by this endless text, I sit on the bed and continue reading once again. … I LOVE THE GIRLS BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY I LOVE YOU. EVEN THOUGH IT HAS TAKEN ME SOME TIME AWAY FROM YOU TO REALISE THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY WOMAN THAT I LOVE THAT I WILL EVER TRULY LOVE. PLEASE THINK ABOUT US GIVING IT ANOTHER TRY. I WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS AND STREAMS TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN. I’M NOT GOING TO INSIST ON AN ANSWER TODAY BUT I WILL BE EXPECTING ONE SOON. YOUR LOVING HUSBAND SANDILE Again I have mixed feelings about this text, one of happiness that he really wants us to make things work and then there is that of anger that he humiliated me and has constantly acknowledge mathapelo’s presence even when Im around. No I cant put myslf through that, we will continue with the life that he chose for us because if he had cared about us he would have discussed with me any issues that we had within our marriage instead of finding comfort in the arms of his ex.i have no intentions of answering his text, I place my phone aside, get into bed and switch off the side lamp. A few minutes later, my phone rings. “ hello” I answer and Im a bit annoyed for being woken up, “hi Im home safe” his voice is wry “ sandile baby come to bed” a females voice calls out from the background. All his attempts to get me to concider taking him back perish everytime I think or hear that woman. Me:” Im glad, good night” “sandile” she calls out, “Im coming” he barks back. sandile:” good night mamkhize” I don’t hang up on him and he too doesn’t end the call. I can hear him breathing, sandile:” are you still there?” me:” yes” sandile:” I miss you” me:” me too” when it comes to sandile I find myself emotionally unstable, one minute I love him the next I hate him. but I believe that the hatred I have towards him is not really hatred but rather anger for everything that he has put me through. sandile:”do you want me to come back and spend the night?” me:” no don’t” sandile:” are you sure” me:” yes” sandile:” sweet dreams” me:” you too” we fall silent again. “ who are you talking to at this time…” I don’t even wait to hear the rest of her statement I hang up and cuddle my pillow falling asleep immediately. The rest of the week goes by quickly, on Friday sandile comes for the girls and on Saturday lunga and I attend his friend’s birthday. his friends are puzzled by me especially since they can all guess that I’m married. I am even overhear one of his friends telling him what a bad ass he is being for dating a married woman. Nobody gets the part that we are friends they all assume the worst and we have both lost interest in clarifying and justifying our friendship. Overall I have a good time, especially because lunga is there. Weeks go by and I get use to the weekend arrangements with sandile, I still haven’t responded to the text he sent weeks back. Im just not convinced that he wants me back and at the same time Im starting to fall hard for the good doctor and that alone is adding more complications to my already complicated life…
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 05:58:43 +0000
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