35 Things I learned in South Africa: 1) Check your shoes before you put your feet in them, theres probably a little thingy in there. 2) The word thingy, following on from the word little or big, is adequate for describing any one of the various animal thingys you will encounter. 3) Its OK that you feel compelled to ask what meat your eating, its likely that its not beef. 4) Ostrich is the most tender and beautiful steak-like meat ever consumed by man (I expected it to be a huge turkey). 5) When a lion roars, you back the F**k off! 6) When a leopard stalks you, make sure your wearing brown trousers. 7) South Africans are brutally honest. 8) South African strangers will fist pump you for liking rugby. 9) Rooikat, although being a pest, are ridiculously cute and equally viscous. 10) Baboons are worse than the UKs urban foxes. 11) The vast majority of people are vehemently against poaching and its illegal trade. 12) Botswanas hunting rules are boss! 13) Meat and beer is the only meal you will receive and you love it. 14) vegans are extinct in South Africa, and thankfully, nobody cares. 15) The Blacks are generally a happy and welcoming people. 16) Apartheid, still exists under a different name. 17) The ANC, especially Zuma, are useless and detested by Whites and their own peoples middle class. 18) There are strong hints of state sponsored anti-whiteness via positive discrimination. 19) White people in Jo-Burg live in wee Fort Knoxs. 20) They may be slightly racist and patronising but many whites feel nothing but anger at the disparity between the colours and only wish that more could be done (and indeed, do what they can) to alleviate the meagre conditions of the average Black. 21) As you can tell, Black and White is widely used: although these are themselves split between various (and contentious) groups. 22) It is impossible to pronounce or speak Xhosa. 23) The wildlife is beautiful, precious and a source of pride. 24) Apparently, the difference in accents between you White people is difficult to pick up to people of Zimbabwean origin. 25) Everything is named after Nelson Mandela 26) The origin of our species is quite likely in the Mossell Bay region of the Garden Route. 27) Security is a big business, especially in comparison to its pitiful existence here. 28) South African humour is hilarious. 29) It is one of the most spectacularly beautiful parts of our world and I feel privileged to have seen the scenery and the wildlife and taken part in the plethora of activities available. 30) Seeing Rhinos in a semi-wild environment was a privileged that my children may never experience and this makes me feel both honoured and angry! 31) A Guns kickback hurts, and so does the Bang 32) The sound rifles make in the movies when they have silencers on is Bullsh*t. 33) and as cheesy as it sounds, I have returned to our fair isle with a renewed sense of perspective in regards to my feelings about wildlife, hunting and fences. 34) Whilst, lastly, I have also come back with a renewed perspective on social disparity. For while on one hand many townships resemble council estates (at least the ones built by the authorities and not the shacks built by people) and therefore I can view our social disparity as being the result of an unequal sharing of wealth, resources and opportunity between the classes. On the other, if you want to see REAL disparity, dont look to the UK. Its rife in South Africa and neither of us seem to have the answers to its solution. However, it is a wonderful place with wonderful things to see, extraordinary things to do, and lovely people to meet and thats why, no 35) is: I would recommend South Africa to anyone, and would go back immediately.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 09:19:47 +0000
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