430pm flight back to Singapore. But my mind still not settled down after seeing how my Koka suffered from the injustice, inequality and life still under threat by drug syndicate. He is honest to tell the truth. He is serious seeking help. He has been rejected and neglected many times by society. It is not his fault that his father was charged in court for raping an underage girl. He needs not be punished and need not be afraid and need not be lonely. Past months he not wanting to talk. He started abusing himself by taking ICE and stop going to school. Finally, we met face to face. How thin he is now! His eyes told me that he felt guilty but at the same time hopeless. A blank poker face.... With the help of my leader Pov Samath, we managed to brought him back to the center. Won Panny, Somath and I talked to him a little but Koka remained silent. Then he slept whole night and day with food and water. After nearly 18 hours of sleep, Somath managed to wake him up and served him fluid and asked him to take a bath. Something we noticed on the back of his body. There were many long stripes scars which I can identified as whipped marks.And the direction of the scars told me that he has been whipping himself with something like cables. It was a form of self abuse. We asked him if he hurt himself, he just remained silent but I can see tear in his eyes. I asked is he felt very hurt, angry and sad. He nodded. But I see hope in him when he hugged me tight and look up on me straight in my eyes. That caused me a u-turn in decision of not sending him to a NGO for rehabilitation (the boy did not ware of our plan). It also caused me to rearrange all my schedule to spend time with him till he settled down. Currently he is under protection of our centre. He afraid to go out as the drug syndicate is out looking for him..He worry he cant reject the boss. I apologize if I could not come back to Singapore. A boy life worth more than any other thing. And if I do come back to Singapore, it will be only for one day and I want to fly out to Bali for a personal retreat without disturbance. I need rest and to recharge.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 03:38:38 +0000
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