5 Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who Is Depressed Depression can be a serious and often misunderstood illness. Not only is it a mental illness, it is an illness that affects all aspects of one’s being. A depressed person can feel drained mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. This disease can strike anyone at anytime. So if you know someone dealing with depression and want to help, keep in mind these things you should never say. 1. Don’t say, “Smile, cheer up, or snap out of it.” Depression is not a simple moment of disappointment or sadness. Telling someone to smile or just snap out of it is like telling someone with a massive wound to put a Band-Aid on it. It just doesn’t work. People suffering from depression often wish it were that easy to just cheer up instantly. Although you may mean well by using such a phrase, it can come across as insulting because it trivializes a truly serious illness that is not easily remedied. Telling someone to smile or just snap out of it is like telling someone with a massive wound to put a Band-Aid on it. 2. Don’t say, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Saying this to someone suffering from depression can actually make him or her feel worse. Depression is not a mere childish tantrum or pouting session. It can reach deep down into your core and leave you feeling helpless and isolated, like being at the bottom of a well with no way out. Depression is not an exercise in self-pity or an excuse to get attention from others. Instead of telling someone to stop feeling sorry for themselves, try offering compassion instead. 3. Don’t say, “I know how you feel.” Although you may sincerely be trying to empathize with the sufferer, this is not the best phrase to use. It may come across as insulting. In all honesty you probably don’t know exactly how this person feels. Sometimes a depressed person doesn’t even know how he or she really feels—many are just numb. It’s also important to remember that everyone’s situation and pain is unique. If you really want to help, then say something like, “I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I’m sorry.” 4. Don’t say, “It could always be worse.” While positive thinking is a great thing, it doesn’t really do much to help someone who is depressed. It’s true that things could always be worse, but that can leave a depressed person feeling guilty about their illness—and that’s no way to get better. When you’re in the depths of depression it is very difficult to count your blessings and see the goodness in life. Depression is like a shadow that covers the sunlight and hides happiness. Instead of saying things could be worse, just offer your love and support. 5. Don’t say, “You just need to (fill in the blank). This is where well meaning people come in with all sorts of advice. You just need to exercise, take medication, practice yoga and mediation, get a new job, etc., etc. While it’s possible that some of these things could improve a depressed person’s life, there is no magic bullet. Things like exercise, yoga and meditation can greatly improve cases of mild depression, but those suffering from serious clinical depression need additional support. As far as medication goes, it can often do wonders, but finding the right antidepressant and dosage can be difficult—and then there are side effects to consider. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to treating depression. Finally advice like getting a new job or making drastic changes is not always a good idea when you’re depressed and not thinking clearly. Telling someone to do so could definitely backfire. Instead of offering advice, offer your time—lend a sympathetic ear, take them to lunch, or simply give a hug.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 05:09:44 +0000
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