50 SIGNS YOU HAVE BEEN IN MACAU TOO LONG: 1. Your 10 year Passport is full inside 2 years. 2. None of the sea-front buildings existed when you arrived. 3. The shoreline itself shifted by half a mile. 4. You have paid enough rent to buy a moderate-sized North American or European town. 5. You consider a lawn-mower the ultimate status symbol. 6. You go to the local shop in pajamas. 7. Your colleagues eat sun-dried cuttlefish coated in sugar and you dont bat an eyelid. 8. You are not surprised to find footprints on the edge of the toilet bowl. 9. You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster. 10. You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio. 11. A PhD in Nuclear Physics fluent in 7 languages irons your socks for a pittance but she is from the Philippines so its all right. 12. You consider Pizza Hut high class and worth queueing for. 13. The word wildlife refers to the family of cockroaches that dwells in your kitchen drawer. 14. You are not surprised to see 85-year old ladies pushing tons of garbage up the streets. 15. You developed an acquired taste for moon cakes. 16. Your body no longer needs dairy products. 17. Your favorite beer is named after a place in China. 18. In restaurant, you send back ice water for hot water. 19. You can’t understand why the waitress brought you a fork and knife instead of chop sticks. 20. Its OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window. 21. All you need is Louis Vuitton. 22. If someone smiles at you for no particular reason, you know she is a Filipina. 23. You believe shopping and eating are the only forms of entertainment. 24. Pollution, what pollution? 25. Drilling on the walls in the wee small hours in the morning is considered acceptable behavior. 26. You go to the hospital at the first signs of a cold. 27. The last time you visited your mother, you gave her your business card. 28. You seriously contemplate putting bathroom tiles on the outside of your house back home. 29. Metal scaffolding at construction sites seems much more dangerous than bamboo scaffolding. 30. You leave the plastic on all new purchases. 31. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves. 32. You cant put a proper sentence together in your native language. 34. Your buildings security guard is 4 times older than the building itself. 35. 165 decibels is a normal noise level for lunchtime conversation. 36. You believe you are really tall when you are only 58. 37. You use the word Ayyiieeaaahh and la every few sentences to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or anger. 38. You throw out your self tanners and carry an umbrella in sunny weather. 39. You wear a coat, a scarf and gloves to fight hypothermia when temperature drops below 20C (70F). 40. “Squid” sounds better than “steak”. 41. Firecrackers don’t wake you up. 42. Your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters. 43. You actually purchased a canto-pop CD. 44. You actually played it several times. 45. It becomes a tradition that at least part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried. 46. In a crowd or a queue, you learnt to stay away from frail-looking old ladies carrying umbrellas. 47. You know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags. 48. Korean and Japanese fashion starts looking hip. 49. You know that leaving Macau will break your heart. 50. You read this list and understood everything.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 07:12:35 +0000
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