8 months ago.. something inside me clicked. I finally realized the person I was & who I pretended to be for so long wasnt working for me anymore. I got pushed so far to the edge where it felt like I finally busted out of my cocoon or something. I was trapped in my own mind that I didnt want to be in... I would put a fake smile on everyday & always post about how happy I was & how my life was perfect, when in reality.. it was the complete opposite. My mind was corrupted with insecurities that ate me alive, trust issues, feeling alone no matter where I was, feeling like I was never good enough, & heartbreak. I would put a smile on for the world to see, but right when I was by myself, it was like I could drown myself in my tears. Within these 8 months, I have been confused & even lost at times, but that didnt stop me from completely letting go of the side of me that was holding me down. I finally closed that chapter of my life & started a new one. It was definitely one of the hardest things Ive ever done but, I am still growing as a person & I am still on my journey of finding out who I am; but for now, I am perfectly content that I can say I am finally 100% happy with the person I am becoming & my life. I couldnt thank my family & the true friends that have stuck by my side till this day enough for being there for me when I was nothing but a walking emotional, depressed, lonely disaster. Im not saying it was like this throughout all of highschool, there were times when I was very happy, but the times where I was upset definitely outweighed the times when I was happy. So now it feels amazing to finally say I am TRULY HAPPY & not have to fake it. I found my inner peace. Sorry for the long post, it just feels good to vent about how happy I am! Of course I have my times where Im emotional or upset, but everyone has those times. :)
Posted on: Mon, 14 Jul 2014 06:03:14 +0000
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