#82 I sat there for a good 30minutes ndijongene nalento. Ingqondo yam ibithatha ibeka I kept asking myself why now? Kudala ndimfuna lomntwana engenzeki now that sendixolile uyenzeka iworse utata wakhe akandifuni yintoni nale ibuhlungu kangaka indehlelayo? Ndiye ndalila ndade ndalamba mpela, ndaphakama ndahlamba ubuso ndaphuma ebathroom ndayokuthatha ichicken yam ndayokuhlala elounge ndayitya ndayigqiba ndodwa ndaziva ndihluthi ndayokusela amanzi idrink or juice bendingazithandi. Ndabuyela elounge ndavele ndabininika nje esithubeni ndakhala, I suddenly missed Lutho when hes comforting me. Oh seyekhe wandithanda lamntu endixhasa kuyo yonke into what went wrong? Ndasuka ndakhumbula lonke ulonwabo esakhe sabanalo noLutho I found myself laughing ndaphinda ndalila ndiphinde ndincume. Oh kodwa love is such an amazing feeling, it hurts sometimes also makes you happy andazi maan ndingathini. Kuyo yonke lonto I ended up calling Lutho bendimthanda and I doubt uyokuze abekhona umntu endiyokuze ndimthande kanje ngaye. I dont care nokuba angasuka eMozabique na akekho umntu onokuvala indawo kaLutho kum. I cant even go a day without thinking of him, andisathethi ke about dreaming of him. The phone rang for a long time, I was about to give up sele ndiphuma iinyembezi ukuyibamba kwakhe. Lutho: hello. Yho he sounded so cold. Mna: hello Lutho. Bendilila qha bendingafuni andive. Lutho: ufuna ntoni Asanda? Yho ndinguAsanda full time ngoku, ndakhathazwa nayileyo. Mna: umm Lutho bendifuna ukuxelela ukuba-... Lutho: jonga sisi kukhona icall engenayo Ill get back to you. Hayini bethuna, khange alinde nokuba ndiphendule wayibeka iphone. Yho ndavele ndazisola bendimphonelela ntoni loLutho ndini. Ndalila ndade ndalala, ukuvuka kwam I checked my phone hoping to see imissed call yakhe kunani khona. Bendifuna ukumxelela uLutho ndimithi qha icacile undikhuphile engqondweni yakhe. I decided to call again akayibamba tu. Ok ndazixolisa ndathula. Ndiye ndayokuthatha enye iphone yam ekamereni ndakhuphela zonke inumbers endiqondayo ndizokuzidinga kuyo ngaphandle kwekaLutho. Ukugqiba kwam yonke lonto ndacima lophone ndayokuyifaka ngaphantsi esuitcasini yam. Ndaqala ngokuphonela umama ndimxelela ngale number yam intsha andathetha nge pregnancy. I sent all my siblings a message telling them thats my new number, kwaphendula uBonani njengesiqhelo. Sathetha nomntase shame ebendibuza ndiphi ndazulisa. Sincokole ndade ndadikwa ndabhabhayisa. After a few minutes kwangena I airtime wow my brother kodwa ay! Wabuya uNic late wakhulula wayokuhlamba bendihleli nje sendigqibile ukupheka. He wore shorts nevest weza kum. Nic: inoba uyadikwa kukuhlala apha imini yonke nhe? I noded. Yhintoni ujonge phantsi nje?. Bendingafuni andibone ukuba bendilila cause my eyes were swollen. Mna: hayi akukhonto. Wazokuhlala ecakwam. Nic: Asanda youve been crying yhintoni sisi? Ukhumbula umama? I noded kodwa ayiyo lonto. Ok ke sisi utsho nokuba kunini xa ufuna ukuhamba andinangxaki mna. Mna: ok. Nic: yilonto nyhani phofu le ikulilisayo? Ndathula andathetha. Asanda please talk to me. Mna: ummm hayi akukhonto. Yho bendisoyika ukumxelela. Nic: ok ke sisi. So ufuna ukuhamba nini? Mna: andazi wena ucinga nini? Nic: hayi mna ndifuna uhlale, jonga ndize nantoni. He ran to the bedroom wabuya neform yasemsebenzini wakhe for a receptionist. Unaye ugrade 12 ne computer so you qualify. Mna: but my certificates arent here. Nic: I.d yona uze nayo neh? Mna: ewe. Ngelucky nayo kuba ihlala esipajini sam oko. Nic: then Ill see what I can do if youre staying. Kaloku baby awuzungatefi unesithukuthezi sokuhlala wedwa. I found myself smiling. Mna: so ukuba andihambi uzokundifaka emsebenzini? Nic: nakanjani sisi. Yho I wouldnt miss le opportunity. Mna: Im staying. Nic: *smiles* really? I noded. We both screamed and hugged each other. He helped me fill the form wathi uzokuhamba nayo ekuseni. Yho I was so excited ngathi sendiqashiwe. Siye sahlala satya late sayokulala, bendinomvandedwa ndisoyika nokuba andibambe uNic ngathi uzokundibona ndimithi. Wavuka ekuseni waphangela, emini ndive ngeknock emnyango ndayokuvula. Gqi ngomntu sele endinika iphone, ndayithatha ndingathethanga ndabeka endlebeni. Mna: *ndixakiwe* hello. Caller: baby why is your phone off? Yho ndakhumbula ukuba I didnt give Nic my new number kwaye kwakula form ndibhale le indala. Mna: yhooo! Nic: kudala uphonelwa kuyo ke yhivule. Mna: ok. Ndiye ndanika umntu iphone yakhe ndambulela ndabaleka ukuya ekamereni, ndabhukuqa ezompahla pha ndalayta iphone yam ukugqiba kwam ndayotha. Yhu I was so anxious kungade kuphonwe tu. Ndazincama ndaphonela uNic. Mna: akude kuphonwe nje. Nic: haha kaloku baby kugqithelwe kwabanye wena awukho serious. Mna: *ndibininika* hayi torho Nic. Nic: haha ndiyadlala baby they will call again please make sure uyayibamba kuba ndikucengele. Mna: enkosi. Ndayifaka apha ecaleni epantini iphone kuba bendinxibe isikipa sodwa. Bendifuna ukuyiva zibekwa mntakabawo. Ndalungisa isuitcase yam then ndayokuhlala elounge. Ndithe sendilibele ndaphonelwa kwathwa ndiye kwi interview the following morning. Yow bendingavuyi ibingase nditsibe kula balcony qha ndingonzakali ke. Khange ndilambe imini yonke ngalamini oko ndinemincili. Wabuya uNic emsebenzini ndingaphekanga ndizihlelele kamandi ndincume kakhulu. Nic: you look much better than yesterday. Ndaphakama ndaya kuye ndam hugger kakhulu wade wandiphakamisa. Siye sayokuthenga ipizza then salala, ekuseni sahamba sobabini ukuya emsebenzini. Nda interview ndagqitywa then kwathwa ndizokuphonelwa mandihambe. Wayokundibeka endlini esithi ndingabina worry ngowam lamsebenzi. Bendingazithembanga ncam kodwa ke ebendomeleza ubhuti. He dropped me off then wajika, ndonyuka ukuya eflattini ndafika ndahlala. Zahamba iintsuku bekuthursday ukuphonelwa kum kusithwa mandiqalise monday. Wow! Those were the great news ever! Emva kwalo call ndiye ndaphonela uNic ndivuya kakhulu yhu Thixo wam umkhulu wena. Ukugqiba kwam ndaphonela umama ndamxelela. Ebonwabile elohlotyana kodwa efuna ndibuye esithi bazokundifundisa noRhadi plus noBonani angancedisa kuba uyandithanda. Akhange ndiyive yonke mna leyo bendifuna ukuphangela ndiphole no Nic qha. Ndaqalisa emsebenzini kumandi maan after all le computer course indincedile cause I was working like a pro nee clients ndiziphendula kakuhle ephonini. Besivana kakhulu noNic and bendimpha shame nekhekhe qha ndingakhululekanga kuba bendimincile ade andazi ukuba ndimithi yho! Yabangu february, we would often go out chill emalwandle siwa tshintsha-tshintsha. Simane sisiya nakwi clubs, parks qha bendikhawuleza ukudikwa ndifune ukuyolala. UNic ebengaqapheli kwanto kum, besendizibona mna kuba kaloku iimpahla beseziba tight. Now we were just chilling eparkini bekusaturday besithathe nje iwalk since ikufutshane nakulendawo yethu. I thought of talking to him but ndaphinda ndoyika. Ndaqonda mandikhe ndimze ngestyle. Mna: yho andityebe maan! Nic: *ehleka* baby yhazi ndicinga ndikubona ndodwa. Mna: awuthethi tana undibukele. Nic: kaloku wena uyakuthanda ukuqumba so I was avoiding that. Ndafuna ukumbetha wabaleka ndamleqa. Mna: ndilinde andizukwenzanto. Wandilinda nyhani ndafika besijikeleza nje apha epakini. Nic: so kufuneka iimpahla ezintsha nhe? Mna: icace gca. Nic: ok ke kuzotsho wena ukuba siyokuzithenga nini. Mna: nangoku kanti. Nic: *ehleka* ohh you not lazy to go shopping njemba uzonqena kangaka ezinye izinto? Mna: yehake. Sahleka sobabini then sajika sangena emotweni sayigoba eya ngase mall indlela. Safika ndabe ndifuna ulegit, ebemane endingenisa kwezindawo zineempahla ezidurayo ndingaboni kwanto intle mna, ndancama ndathetha. Mna: Nic ndifuna uLegit okanye Mr Price torho. Nic: ngowutshilo nje baby. Sajika saya emotweni wathi masiye eMitchels plain eplazza. Hayi kepha iivenkile zam ndiye ndaziva ngevumba. Ndathatha shame endikhethisa bendimane ndimncingela kodwa andithathele ngokwakhe. Ukugqiba kwethu sayokutya then sathenga icosmetics sahamba. Nic: kanene uyakwazi ukuqhuba. Mna: yebo. Nic: kufuneka wenze ilicence ke baby uyabona. I noded. Ndiqonda heee lomfana ukuba ebeyazi ebengazukuba nice kanje kum. Uqhubekile unyaka yaba nguMarch sendirhola kengoku emsebenzini. Everything is running smooth maan, ooAna siyaphonelana sebendazi ukuba ndiphi noxa nje bengayiginyi ncam. ULutho usathule cwaka phofu andazi cause ndaphinda ndayicima laphone Im using the new one isidala sento ngoku. Mambhele is doing fine wethu. Ukuba ndibala kakuhle Im 4months pregnant now. Amabele awebuhlungu ndinochuku ukuba kukhe nje kwakhona umntu ondigila kuwo. Ablastile kwamna maan ndiye ndityeba. Bendicinga ukuxelela umama ngalento qha andazi ndiphinde ndinqandwe yintoni. Hayi keyenake uNic qho ndivele ndizinqande sendizokumxelela. Besihlamba sobabini when Nic asked me something ndavele ndothuka ndaphantsukuwa. Nic: Asanda when are your periods? Yow! I literally chocked. Uxolo baby. Ebetsho endi brush umqolo. Mna: *coughing* its ok. Ndakhawulezisa ndagqiba ukuhlamba ndaphuma ndaya eroomini, yho besesicaca isisu umgca esiswini etyebile emnyama tshu! Wangena uNic emvakwam wathambisa ukugqiba kwakhe wayokuhlala elounge. Ndiye ndathambisa unyaka wonke kunzima ukuphuma ekamereni wade wandikhwaza ndaya. Mna: yhe. Nic: kutheni ungandixeleli ukuba umithi? I looked away sele ndifuna ukulila. Ndiyavuya kemnake andazi ngawe ke. Mna: Nic kodw-... Nic: shh baby you dont have to say anything. I know condoms arent 100% safe so bendiyilindele mna lonto. Yhizapha ecakwam. Ndanyoshoza ndayokuhlala. Nic: kufuneka siye kwagqirha ngomso ajonge uDlamini omncinci. Yho ebencume zivele zonke izixhobo ndabe mna ndibanda nkca ziintloni zokuba ingengowakhe lomntwana phofu kunzima ukumxelela. Sigh!
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 07:20:36 +0000
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