9 Magic Words That Reduce Stress - globaladvisors.biz/inc-feed/20141021/9-magic-words-that-reduce-stress/ BY GEOFFREY JAMES Neuroscience is fascinating but the folk wisdom of this award-winning salesperson is just as valuable, in my view. Neuroscience in past five years has revealed many startling facts about stress, such as that even light exercise alleviates it and that you can detoxify stressful memories. In these cases, neuroscience has merely explained how the chemicals in your brain make the techniques work. The techniques themselves are decades old. My mother, who was an award-winning salesperson for Bristol Myers, taught me what she called the 9 magic words for working with people, especially in stressful situations. I strongly suspect that neuroscience will eventually catch up with with my mothers words of wisdom, but I see no reason to wait until then to share them with you. As she explained it to me, the 9 magic words come in 3 groups of 3: 1. I respect you. When you allow disrespect to guide your thoughts, you become the other persons secret enemy. Hate and anger bubbles beneath the surface. Both of you know it will eventually explode, so disrespect is like sitting on a powder keg. Saying I respect you--and meaning it--lays the foundation for a strong business relationship. Respect creates respect; the relationship grows. Conflicts that otherwise would create massive stress are transformed into problems you solve together. 2. I understand you. As anyone whos had the experience can vouch, its incredibly stressful to work someplace where misunderstanding is the rule rather than the exception. Vast effort is wasted on pointless tasks. Chaos and confusion reign. To work their magic, these 3 words must be said only after youve taken the effort to truly understand. That means putting aside your preconceptions and really listening to what other people say. Doing so creates clarity, which is the opposite of stress. 3. I forgive you. In almost every situation, people try to do the best they can with the resources theyve got. However, mistakes are inevitable and when you carry rancor and resentment about them after theyve happened, youre maintaining and multiplying the stress. Forgiveness doesnt mean tolerating bad behavior. Quite the contrary. Its easier and more effective to change the behavior of others when your intent is to correct rather than punish. So let it go and move forward. Im reasonably certain that these magic words do indeed change your brain chemicals to alleviate stress. Rather than speculate on that, Ill add this instead: my mother had 3 additional magic words that she said were more powerful than all the others combined. Ill let you guess what those 3 words were.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 14:32:13 +0000
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