A Christmas thought. The closer I get to Christmas. The more vulnerable I am to depression. The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions. This time last year I was in a relationship. And for what it was worth. I was the happiest I had been in over 12 years. This year...Im not in a relationship...and yes...Although I was on the verge of getting depression into a corner. With its back against the wall for a change. Its decided to strike back. It not JUST because Im not in a relationship. Its a lot of other things that come into play and make you remember. Make you think. And one of those thoughts is about being happy. And what makes you happy. And the choices you have to make sometimes to find that happiness. Over the years Ive worked outside of my profession occasionally. 2 of these people although not connected...and at different times...Shared a common link. They both treated me like shit. And I really do mean..They treated me like shit. Talked to me like I was worthless, treated me like an idiot, If a job could be done by a machine..I would do it by hand, disrespected me, and one of these people in particular..Did everything he could to destroy my soul, my self respect, beat me down and break me. There was also a young guy there when I first started working. He couldnt speak. I dont know why. Apparently he never spoke. I kept my mouth shut for as long as I could when this guy used to call this young guy stupid to his face, and “what??..Are you an idiot or retarded?”. Keeping my mouth shut only lasted a week. I finally lost it and stood up for this guy. There was no one to stand up for me. But that was fine. I wasnt going to tolerate witnessing another human being treated like shit. Unfortunately the guy who owned the business had a quick solution. Put me and the young guy on separate shifts. So he found a way to be happy in what he got the most joy out of. And that was treating people like shit. Although I loved both of these jobs. It was a painful decision to quit. Because its always hard giving up on someone or something you love. Sometimes you have to look at what your doing and think. If your no longer doing it because you love it. Or your just doing it for others. Or because you have to. Or think you dont have a choice. Or you might feel that your doing it because its expected. Or taken for granted. And no longer appreciated. Or you might be constantly asking yourself “why am I doing this?”...And “Who am I doing it for?”. Then you really need to think. Make a stand. And make a choice. If you no longer love it. Then your NOT going to be happy. And without happiness...We end up with........
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 09:16:30 +0000
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