A FEW LAUGHS BEFORE I FLY OFF OT JACSONVILLE Q: What is the difference between a duck and a co-pilot? A: The duck can fly. A check ride ought to be like a skirt: Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything. Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. It only takes three things to fly: Airspeed, time and money. The three most dangerous things in aviation (in order): 1. A doctor in a Cessna. 2. Two captains in a 737 or DC-9. 3. On-board fire Aircraft Identification: If its ugly, its British. If its weird, its French. If its ugly and weird, its Russian. What do air traffic controllers and pilots have in common? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate. New FAA motto: Were not happy till youre not happy. If something hasnt broken on your helicopter ...wait a while its about to. Basic Flying Rules: 1. Try to stay in the middle of the air. 2. Do not go near the edges of it. 3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges. Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt: Youve got to land here son. This is where the food is. The three best things in life are: A good landing, A good orgasm, A good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is an opportunity to experience all three at the same time. A little aviation Art for my 1946 Cessna 140
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 10:07:50 +0000
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