A GRATITUDE MOMENT - A POWERFUL SHARE re: GIVING UP nonPOC Queer POWER + ALLY-SHIP I had a brilliant conversation recently with a non-POC Queer ally to the QPOC community - who shared in a moment of pure LOVE that they are struggling with giving up control to QPOC in order to create a power balance. They are struggling with 3 relinquishing control discomfort areas: * asking, listening and responding to the immediate voiced needs of QPOC (individuals, collectives, orgs) as the priority over their own need to be seen or powerful and retreating unwittingly or not to their reinforced Privileged NonPOC Queer power position; * participating selflessly - being involved without de-railing the QPOC power attainment process by taking up space with their own nonQPOC privilege; * supporting from within the structure of QPOC orgs - i.e. sitting in the non-QPOC discomfort of not being the one (individually, collectively, as an organization even) making the decisions - relinquishing space to QPOC to lead non-QPOC. I love and commend them for their beautiful honesty. They are used to being the dominant voice - often times feeling most purposeful when they feel that they are representing QPOC voices and concerns. I appreciate that and I support them remaining open to growing through the discomfort of knowing that the answer is to let go of the fear of not being in control - or leading - knowing that a more evolved and equitable Queer community is waiting on the other side. I adore them because, they are not running defensively - they are doing the oft uncomfortable spiritual work of humility and sacrifice. They sent me something they found online as they continue to grow as an ally... 7. Allies Don’t Need to Be in the Spotlight I can’t help but acknowledge the irony of my writing this one, as my work literally puts me in the spotlight in some conversations about oppression, but hang with me. True solidarity means supporting the work of those you’re allying yourself to, not solely creating a platform for your own voice and work. Sure, your privilege may afford you the spotlight sometimes, and there are times when you can use that spotlight to talk to people who share your identity (see #8), but whenever possible, allies turn that spotlight away from themselves and to the voices that are so often marginalized and ignored. In my own work, I work hard to ensure that my work is grounded squarely in the scholarship and lived experiences of those with whom I ally myself, and I work hard to share or abdicate the spotlight to those with whom I attempt to act in solidarity whenever possible. Perhaps I fail more than I succeed in this realm, but it is something I must continue to keep central in my praxis. (everydayfeminism/2013/11/things-allies-need-to-know/)
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:23:33 +0000
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