A Not-So-Brief Update: Christmas shopping done. All except for one Secret Santa gift for my FIL. Hes the hardest to shop for and when I found myself staring at plaid pajama pants for the third time yesterday, I knew it was time to walk away and call in back up. Meaning, tell HBD he had to help find something cool. I honestly think if I gave him plaid pajama pants, my MIL would have rolled her eyes so hard they would have fallen out of her head. My FIL is a great guy – really smart too. But he loves his plaids like nobody’s business. For example, he’ll put on a red plaid shirt and then blue plaid pajama pants with a tiny red stripe in them and call it matching and proper at home lounging wear. It makes my MIL crazy. And I think the whole thing is adorable. So adorable in fact that I made his blanket using two mis-matched plaids. I have no idea why I’m explaining this to you, but it’s the truth and something running through my head this morning. It’s that ONE gift that I didn’t get and it’s bugging me. In other news, everyone survived the cootie bomb that went off in our house this past week. HBD is back upstairs in the office hard at work, albeit with one eye open, Jack is playing video games and Gracie is sleeping in. All seems back to normal. Well – kind of. Christmas always seems to be a chronological marker in life that makes me reflect on all the changes that took place from the Christmas prior. For example, last Christmas we had 7-10 people living in our house at any given time. With the kids in their 20’s there was always a flux and change somewhere. I was hosting Christmas for our family and our entire extended family. It was huge. Money wasnt a huge concern and I was perfectly healthy and drowning any frustrations I did have in a crisp, cool glass of chardonnay or three. Nothing was perfect by any means but we were happy, proud and grateful just to have a home big enough to bring everyone together even if it was only once or twice a year. Everything was LOUD and chaotic, there was always 15 things going on at once and a dog barking at yet another person knocking on the door who had come to visit. This year, we are down to 4 people in our house and I only have 2 kids to buy Santa presents for. Trust me, I’m grateful for the financial savings but it was so simple it was weird. All of us go through financial fluxes, and this year we had one. Gracie was shopping with me yesterday and because she’s 15 and picky I had her shop with me for her gifts. Apparently – I no longer understand fashion. I don’t fight the facts anymore. She’s right on this one. While shopping with her at one of her favorite stores she saw a shirt she really liked until she looked at the price tag. We went back and forth about it and when she was off looking at something else I went and picked it up off the rack. When we met up again she saw me holding it and got mad. “Put it back mom. I don’t want it or need it!” she spewed and then started choking back tears. “Hey, I’m your mom and I think it’ll look great on you. It’s Christmas. I want you to have a nice Christmas even though I’m making you pick out your gifts. I’d rather get you something you like than try to surprise you with something you have to fake liking.” I responded. “Mom, I don’t need it. I have everything I need.” she said as she turned away fighting tears. I asked her why she was upset but she wouldn’t tell me. My heart sank. Here I was trying to cheer her up and buy her something special for her to look forward to but all she was thinking about is the fact that money is tight this year and not wanting to be a financial burden at Christmas. My heart broke because it was clearly apparent that I’ve let her see way too much or overhear way too much about money and business. Part of me was angry with myself and yet another part of me was okay with the fact that she understood the reality. She needed to. It’s a part of life. And sometimes, we have to just be grateful for what we have instead of focusing on what else we want. Though I agree with everything I just said to you – I was still sick to my stomach at the sight of her tears. No parent wants their kid to worry about the stuff we worry about. Isn’t that why we all work so hard - Just so our kids don’t have to worry? We finished up our shopping fully satisfied with this year’s loot run and headed home after inhaling giant double stack cheeseburgers from a local burger joint. When we got home, the house was quiet and in order. HBD and Jack were cuddled up on the couch watching TV. At one point after Gracie and I got settled, HBD got off the couch a little beside himself because everything was so calm he didn’t know what to do with it. And of course due to his normal M.O. he started some chaos with the kids and everyone was rough-housing for the next 15 minutes while I nagged about safety and the fact that I’m NOT driving anyone to the hospital if someone gets hurt. Blah, Blah, Blah. That’s all they heard anyways. So this year, we’re going to see my family on Christmas Eve in Indiana and on Christmas Day my MIL is bringing the Italian dishes and I’m making the traditional Christmas ham with those little black pokey things in it. What’s it called again? Oh yeah, Clovers or whatever. They kinda creep me out and look like a skin disease but HBD loves them. Anyways – it’ll just be a small gathering this year. Most likely with WAY too much food if the MIL and I have anything to do with it. I’m sure the older kids will appreciate taking some leftovers home. I honestly don’t know how to do a small holiday. I hope everything comes out okay and goes well. Will we be bored? Or will it be fun and everyone have a good time hanging out together? Normally, I would try to orchestrate games and entertainment. But this year, I’m just going to look around, count my blessings and let it ride. It’s amazing how many changes a year can bring. Some good, some not so good but in the end, I think we all end up exactly where we were supposed to be – Home. At home and together. That’s all that really matters.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 16:44:06 +0000
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