A STORY Twas the night before nothing in particular and all through the house I was sleeping (and I dont have a mouse) 0230: Me: Zzzzzzzzz.... >BEEP!< WAH WAH BLAH BLAH WAH WAH BLAH! Me: Zrfmx... huh? WTF? Stumble out of bed, check the smoke detector (which can talk) and nothing is amiss... hmmm. 0400: Me: Zzzzzzzzz.... >BEEP!< WAH WAH BLAH BLAH WAH WAH BLAH! Me: $@^%#$@*&@ Groggle* up the manual for my smoke detector. Nothing in the verbal alarms sounds like anything Im hearing (but cant understand when the machine is pushing a bazillion decibels out of a speaker that is the size of your average sub-atomic particle) Push the self-test button, and the detector sings me the song of its people, but nothing else happens. Check the linked detector in the basement - nothing. Grumble grumble grumble... 0530: Me: Zzzzzzzzz.... >BEEP!< WAH WAH BLAH BLAH WAH WAH BLAH! Me: $@^%#$@*&@!!!!!!! Still cant make out what the furshlugginer thing is saying! However, my fuzzy mind notices that the shape of the detector is somewhat similar to the shape of a UFO... or a frisbee... grrrrrrrrr 0700: Me: reading.... >BEEP!< WAH WAH BLAH BLAH WAH WAH BLAH! Finally, comprehension: BATTERY LOW! LA BATTERY EST BEAUCOUP EMPTY, LA! (yes, the advisories are bilingual, but I honestly didnt catch the French words.) So, the battery is dying... the one I bought and installed two days ago. Nothing in the manual suggests that the smoke detector will complain about this, apart from flashing the LED (which is NOT flashing). Stumble onto a stool, unplug detector, remove battery - thatll shut it up! Dont you just hate when machinery is TOO smart??? Now, Ill just take a moment to load up my rifle... ah, poop, thatll just spread radioactive material around my yard. THE END *Groggle: using Google at zero-dark-hundred hours, when groggy from lack of sleep
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 14:13:05 +0000
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