(✿◠‿◠) . . A Thanksgiving Tradition from the 1960s.. and still going Strong!! . . . . . . . . ♫ ♫ Alices Restaurant ♫ ♫. . . . . . . . (◡‿◡✿) .... . . . ❤ ♫ ❦ ☃ ✌ (̅(̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅_̲̅м̅arijuana_̅_̅_̅() ڪ ⛪ ♫ ✈ ⛄️ ♫ ☀ ☮ ❤ . . ...... . . . . Every Thanksgiving, no matter where I was, for the past 40 YEARS a song is played in Every City, or every town, on at least one of the local Radio Stations, at EXACTLY NOON, Eastern Time, All Across this NATION. !! ( That would be 11 am Central time ... 10 am Mountain Time... etcetera ...) So... make sure you carry on the Tradition while your cooking up your Turkeys... or Hams... and get the kids in on it... ( its great to Circle Dance and jump around on the Chorus with the kids... Hell.. its Fun without the kids!)... Remember.... 12 NOON Eastern Time!!! ..... I hope something from my younger years and a Great Tradition can get passed down and carried on !!!! ~ Have a Happy ! ~ . . . . . . ⊱( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊰ . . . . ♬ ♪ ♩ ♭ ♪ ♬ ♪ ♩ ♭ ♪ . . . . . HAPPY ☮ TURKEY ☮ DAY !!! . . youtube/watch?v=m57gzA2JCcM . . . ♫ ♫ Alices Restaurant ♫ ♫ . . . . . . Arlo Guthrie . . . . . . .. This song is called Alices Restaurant, and its about Alice, and the restaurant, but Alices Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant; thats just the name of the song, and thats why I call the song Alices Restaurant. You can get anything you want at Alices Restaurant You can get anything you want at Alices Restaurant Walk right in, its around the back Just a half a mile from the railroad track You can get anything you want at Alices Restaurant Now, it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant. But Alice doesnt live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant, in the bell tower, with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And living in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Having all that room, seeing as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didnt have to take out their garbage for a long time. We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided itd be a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the city dump. Well, we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the dump saying, Closed on Thanksgiving. And we had never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage. We didnt find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile was better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours down. Thats what we did, and drove back to the church, had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldnt be beat, went to sleep and didnt get up until the next morning, when we got a phone call from Officer Obie. He said, Kid,we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it. And I said, Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope under that garbage. After speaking to Obie for about forty-five minutes on the telephone we finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the police officers station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the police officers station. Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasnt very likely, and we didnt expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officers station there was a third possibility that we hadnt even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said Obie, I dont think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on. He said, Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the patrol car. And thats what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here,they got three stop signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars, being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officers station. They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and thats not to mention the aerial photography. After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put us in the cell. Said, Kid, Im going to put you in the cell, I want your wallet and your belt. And I said, Obie, I can understand you wanting my wallet so I dont have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want my belt for? And he said, Kid, we dont want any hangings. I said, Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering? Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the toilet seat so I couldnt hit myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldnt bend the bars roll out the - roll the toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice (remember Alice? Its a song about Alice) Alice came by and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church, had a another Thanksgiving dinner that couldnt be beat,and didnt get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court. We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down. Man came in said, All rise. We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down. We sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at the twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasnt nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasnt going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not what I came to tell you about. I came to talk about the draft. They got a building down New York City, its called Whitehall Street, where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, Kid, see the psychiatrist, room 604. And I went up there, I said, Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL. And I started jumpin up and down yelling, KILL, KILL, and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, KILL, KILL. And the seargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, Youre our boy. Didnt feel too good about it. Proceeded on down the hall, getting more injections, inspections, detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin to me at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there, and I walked up and said, What do you want? He said, Kid, we only got one question. Have you ever been arrested? And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alices Restaurant Massacre, with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all the phenomena, and he stopped me right there and said, Kid, did you ever go to court? And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW, kid!! And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group Ws where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean and ugly and nasty and horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, Kid, whadya get? I said, I didnt get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage. He said, What were you arrested for, kid? And I said, Littering. And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, And creating a nuisance. And they all came back, shook my hand,and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the Sergeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it up and said. Kids, this-piece-of-papers-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-de tails-of-the crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing- you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting- officers-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say, and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there, and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read thefollowing words: (KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?) I went over to the sergeant, said, Sergeant, you got a lot a damn gall to ask me if Ive rehabilitated myself. I mean, I mean, I mean I’m just, Im sitting here on the bench, I mean Im sittinhere on the Group W bench, cause you want to know if Im moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after being a litterbug? He looked at me and said, Kid, we dont like your kind, and were gonna send your fingerprints off to Washington. And friends, somewhere in Washington, enshrined in some little folder, is a study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason Im singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if you’re in a situation like that theres only one thing you can do. Walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in and say Shrink, you can get anything you want at Alices restaurant. And walk out. You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think hes really sick and they wont take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think theyre both faggots and they wont take either of them . And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in singing a bar of Alices Restaurant and walking out. They may think its an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day walking in singing a bar of Alices Restaurant and walking out. And friends, they may think its a movement. And thats just what it is , the Alices Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar. With feeling. So well wait for it to come around on the guitar here, and sing it when it does. Here it comes. You can get anything you want, at Alices Restaurant You can get anything you want, at Alices Restaurant Walk right in its around the back Just a half a mile from the railroad track You can get anything you want, at Alices Restaurant That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud. Ive been singing this song now for twenty-five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty-five minutes. Im not proud... or tired. So well wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part harmony and feeling. Were just waitin for it to come around is what were doing. All right now. You can get anything you want at Alices Restaurant (excepting Alice) You can get anything you want at Alices Restaurant Walk right in, its around the back Just a half a mile from the railroad track You can get anything you want, at Alices Restaurant Da da da da da da da dum... At Alices Restaurant!
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 01:11:43 +0000
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