A father passing by his teenage daughters bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It was addressed Dad. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands :- Dear dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that Im writing you, but Im leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Rocky because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. Ive been finding real passion with Rocky and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him youll like him too even with all his piercings, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But its not only the passion Dad, Im pregnant and Rocky said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Rocky is much older than me (anyway, 42 isnt so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldnt stand in the way of our relationship, dont you agree? Its true he had other girlfriends as well but I know hell be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and thats now one of my dreams too. Rocky taught me that marijuana doesnt really hurt anyone and hell be growing it for us and well trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, well pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Rocky can get better; he sure deserves it!! Your loving daughter, Rosie. At the bottom of the page were the letters PTO Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read: PS: Dad, none of the above is true. Im over at the neighbors house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card thats in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love You! 😂😂😂 John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens) called pullets, and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Johns favorite rooster, old Paul, was a very fine specimen, but this morning, he noticed old Pauls bell hadnt rung at all. When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming would run for cover. To Johns amazement, old Paul had his bell in his beak,so it wouldnt ring. Hed sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Paul, he entered him in the Bairnsdale Agricultural Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Paul the No-Bell Peace Prize, but they also awarded him the Pulletsur-prise as well. Clearly old Paul was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they werent paying attention. Vote carefully in the coming election...... 🔔🔔 The bells are not always audible! 📢📢
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 14:29:47 +0000