A few years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Floridas southeast coast. We are living in the Delray/ Boca/Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee. There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real. Our biggest retirement concern was time management. What were we going to do all day? No longer. Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Our days are eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of our car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where we parked takes 20 minutes. It takes a half-hour in the check-out line in Wal-Mart, and 1 hour to return the item the next day. Let me take you through a typical day: We get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning Walk-and-Fart Club. There are about 30 of us, and rain or shine, we walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed until 6:00 am. After a nimble walk, avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for the next activity. My wife goes directly to the pool for her underwater Pilates class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR. I put on my Ask me about my Grandchildren T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and go to the clubhouse lobby for a nice nap. Before we know it, its time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free! After a filling lunch, if we dont have any doctor appointments, we might go to the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy a Rolex watch for $2.00. Were usually back home by 2:00 pm to get ready for dinner. People start lining up for the early bird about 3:00 pm, but we get there by 3:45 because were late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. We can take home enough food for the next days lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, packets of mustard, relish, ketchup and Splenda, along with mints. At 5:30 pm were home, ready to watch the 6 oclock news. By 6:30 pm were fast asleep. Then we get up and make five or six trips to the bathroom during the night, and its time to get up and start a new day all over again. Doctor-related activities eat up most of our retirement time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I dont mind. Calling for test results also helps the days fly by. It takes at least a half-hour just getting through the doctors phone menu. Then theres the hold time until were connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget were holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch. Should we find we still have time on our hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet and they need our help. I myself am a volunteer for The Vertically Challenged Over 80. I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers. The hoop is only 4-1/2 feet from the floor. You should see the look of confidence on their faces when they make a slam dunk. Food shopping is a problem for short seniors, or bottom feeders as we call them, because they cant reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods theyve never tasted. After shopping, most seniors cant remember where they parked their cars and wander the parking lot for hours while their food defrosts. Lastly, its important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world travelers, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live: Murrays Condos or the Lakes of Venice? Theres no difference -- theyre both owned by Murray, who happens to be a cheap bastard. I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when youre in Florida. I live in the Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 22:58:39 +0000
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