A letter to Mourinho Dear Jose, Welcome back to the Premier League. Things have moved on a bit in the past six years. As a helping hand to readjusting, here’s a little guide to what’s changed and what’s not… 1 THE MANAGERS You might not recognise many faces. Since you left, only your old mate Arsene Wenger has stayed in the same place. That actually applies to the whole Football League, as well. The things he would have seen if he owned, for instance, a telescope – Chelsea alone have got through seven managers. Wenger hasn’t won anything in the time you’ve been away so that might be a sore point. Best not to bring it up. There are a few of the old boys kicking around, though. David Moyes, Martin Jol, Steve Bruce, Mark Hughes and Sam Allardyce are all still in the Premier League. Frank Arnesen is out of work, mind, so keep an eye on that one. 2 THE NEXT GENERATION Generally they say you’re getting old when policemen start looking younger. In managerial terms, it’s when your backroom staff start taking you on. Steve Clarke is at West Brom, Brendan Rodgers is waxing lyrical at Liverpool and Andre Villas-Boas, that guy who followed you from Porto to Chelsea and Inter Milan, is at Tottenham. Rodgers said working under you was a ‘Harvard education’, and you said Clarke was the ‘incredible one’. Villas-Boas said recently that you two barely speak. Tottenham v Chelsea is on September 28. 3 THE PLAYERS Cech, Cole, Terry, Lampard… the old guard are still there. But Fernando Torres is a little different. He only arrived in England a month before you left, but caused quite a stir – he went on to score 65 goals in 102 Premier League games for Liverpool. Roman wanted him and Roman got him. Over to you. 4 THE RIVALS Manchester City finished 14th in your last full season, right? Turns out your boss gave a sheik an idea. But don’t worry about Blackburn. Your 0-0 draw with them in September 2007 might have been one of the final straws, but they’re in the Championship now. Your last win, against Portsmouth, might take some time to replicate. 5 THE TECHNOLOGY You might have noticed Roman wandering around with an iPad. He isn’t playing Candy Crush or watching old episodes of Luther. It’s that extraordinarily sophisticated scouting app that you love. And apparently he’s infatuated with it, too. Which is nice. He can use it on his yacht and his Boeing 737, which means he can get even more involved. Andriy Shevchenko is retired now, but should he change his mind Roman will be one of the first to know. Which is also nice. 6 THE OVERCOAT You brought in the overcoat in an age of tracksuits, but Swansea’s manager, Michael Laudrup, seems to have raised the bar, or lowered the tone, depending on your point of view. Jeans on the touchline… 7 EGGS Waitrose still have the best. A calm presence in a messed up world. Yours Sincerely rumour aka mana #badman
Posted on: Sat, 17 Aug 2013 21:11:04 +0000
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