A little of the poet in me made this: Policies Precious little policies adorn the filing cabinet drawers Dandy little decorations that have both teeth and claws Don’t ask me to do my job or work too hard for my pay Or I will sic the little policies on you till you go away! If Duty-of-care won’t get you shaking in your boots We will let Occupational-Health-&-Safety loose If that doesn’t make you pull your head in to your shell We will let out the Safety-First policy to make your life hell. Our policies are perfect with every word framed so right! They are our one true glory and they shine the brightest light. Let us read them to you and explain what they really mean Our perfect little policies so pure and pristine. Now, we only do it for your own good and because we are so nice So drink that chilled and bitter cold drink or we will freeze it till it’s ice. And stay right where we put you and don’t choose to move away Don’t scoot or creep or crawl, don’t insist we help you walk today Or we will have to find a way to contain you (that cannot be called ‘restrain you’) Because the law says we cannot detain you (but we must somehow maintain you) For goodness sakes. We are so bloody nice! Now we have a person centred plan and it’s written in our rules That we need to ask you what you want but it really is a ruse For we could not be bothered doing all the silly things you ask What is the point of teaching if you are so slow to learn the task Yes, you can choose your programme, but we’ll put you where you fit You can use the toilet once a day and in the meantime sit in your own shit But we will clean you up nice and proper before you go home each day So everyone knows you’re looked after and you’re happy here to stay. Now we only do it for your own good and because we are so nice You can count yourself lucky we have lowered our daily price. So you can pay for being cared for by the policies that we write You are so damn lucky that we always do things right. So count every blessing, thank god you have no stressing And you can keep on guessing for our policies are pure dressing, And we are so bloody nice!
Posted on: Wed, 03 Jul 2013 14:03:46 +0000