A long time ago somebody asked me why I was afraid of spiders. I just shrugged it off and simply said because theyre creepy. Then they go and say something like, but your a Marine you cant be scared of a silly spider. Oh really? Then why did I run away like a little girl when I had my first encounter with a baby camel spider in Iraq? Huh? So after really thinking about it, I think I am ready to come clean with a more definite answer. First off is appearance. These nasty arachnids have like 8 eyes staring at you, 8 legs ready to pounce at any moment, and theyre as hairy as Steve Carells chest. They move in silence like a veteran sniper. No seriously, they dont make any noise! Although, I think the worst part is their attitude. They sit there and wont move, almost challenging you while the light reflects off there hard eyes while bobbing up and down in their web. Wrapping dinner up in a tight web while sinking theyre disgusting fangs into its body. Not to mentions the 90s hit Arachnophobia with Jeff Daniels pretty much traumatized me as a child. When people tell me the famous line, spiders are good, they kill insects, I basically want to strangle that person like theyre Bart Simpson. Yes they kill insects, but they kill humans too, stupid! And I am pretty sure every spider is programmed with the mission to kill Bryan Laughner specifically. So until next time people, check your shoes and check the corners of the shower because they are out there.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Feb 2014 08:00:45 +0000
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