A lot of people have reached out to me and are going or have recently gone through loosing their beloved pet as well. I am no stronger than the next person and I recommend that each one of you talk to friends who understand your pain and lost or fears of loosing your pet. Sadly, in rescue- putting down a pet for various reasons happens from time to time yet I can tell you- it never gets easy. Stella was a stoic little girl who fought the fight hard but the night before I let her go, she was not doing well at all and it was clear to me that letting her go was the kindest gift I could extend to her in her honor. When the vet was doing the process- Stella looked up at me one last time, as to say- thank you for stopping the pain and we both knew our love would always be there for each other. Stella and I always communicated to each other with and without words and I still find myself talking to her. There are hard times and there are times that I smile thinking about a memory we had. It is the little things I miss the most- she would lay under my desk in her bed and would love for me to pet her with my foot and I would talk to her- the first night I found myself looking for her with my foot while on the computer and cried. I look at all of the wonderful photos of the dogs adopted and smile at the memories I have of her helping the ones we fostered while they were here. She would do every load of laundry with me and we would sit downstairs and play and talk and laugh- it was our one on one time- we always made time each day for our one on one time- I miss her the most those moments.I am truly feel blessed that I had almost 12 wonderful years with her and many loving and funny memories. She was not a rescue- I got her before I was ever involved in frenchie rescue but fostered for a shelter instead- I am forever thankful for my breeder for matching me up with the most brilliant little puppy who walked in my home when she was 10 weeks old like she owned the place and ran with my heart that first day. My Brosco and Hope miss her dearly and are going through a grieving period as well. Brosco doesnt know what to do as his bossy big sister is gone. Brosco lays each day on Stellas favorite blanket that still smells like her and Hope sleeps in Stellas bed that still smells like her as well. Together- we will get through this. The day Stella was diagnosed with cancer- she found a little green hummingbird that she was fascinated by- we never have had a hummingbird here. The day she left this earthly plane- Lisa say a green hummingbird come and fly around her head two times and off it went- I think it was Stellas way of saying thank you to her for being there for me the day before she was put down to rest. Yesterday- I was sitting out in the back yard on the deck, Stella and I would do that for hours- mostly at night looking at stars and she would lay on my chest as I watched for shooting stars. I asked for a sign yesterday while sitting out there and as soon as I finished that thought- a little green hummingbird came again- for the second time ever. I can and always will feel her love and know she is near. She would always help me get ready to go to the auctions as I got the crates and everything ready- as I do that this time- I find myself missing her. When we would come back from the auction and after unloading all the dogs in my home and everyone left for a few hours- Stella and I would go and calm the dogs before all the volunteers would come to bath and love on them later that day- I will dearly miss her and I doing that without her this time, that I do know. Normally, I am very private when I grieve but I know that some people feel I abandoned them in this journey with her after she crossed to the bridge- so I thought I would share one last time- how I am still dealing with my journey of my little soulmate.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 19:05:43 +0000
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