A neighbor asked for relationship advice. I jotted down some important things I did before ending up with my mate: 1. Be patient. 1A: patience over quantity dont try to make a jigsaw piece fit where it doesnt belong. Dont be discouraged after the 1, 2 or third romantic partner falls short. Use these experiences as a learning tool, discovering your likes and dislikes in a mate. Narrowing down the selection will give you a higher chance of finding your compatible mate. 1B: when you do find the compatible mate, let your interest show without overwhelming them. Initially, we may find it difficult to respect space as were busy trying to ensure weve made a memorable impression that will draw their interest into wanting more of us. Trust in this: if your hunch of this turning into more than a fling is correct, you dont need to go overboard, the feeling is mutual. 2. Patience-finding a partner who understands that there is no perfect _________. We all are works in progress. The stagnated individual is the one who thinks otherwise. Having a partner who is understanding of this, who not only lets us know areas we can progress in, but wants to help us to achieve the goal of progression is important. 3. Keepin it 💯- Be honest with yourself and your partner. Conformity is not attractive. The right partner will appreciate your individuality and difference in opinion. New perspectives allow us to remove our blinders, seeing the world with fresh eyes. Celebrate the differences between you and your partner. In a long term relationship, realistically, you wont always see eye to eye. Ensuring longevity in any relationship comes with this fundamental understanding. Reminder: Resentment can spoil any relationship if youve derailed your life in the quest for anothers. Equally as important as individuality, is maintaining ones independence. Dont let the relationship be the bane of your existence. In an attempt to ensure a fruitful relationship, you may lose focus on other equally important aspects of your life. This can fuel into resentment, using your partner as a scapegoat for your lack of accomplishment. Not having your own personal freedom and independence can be the nail in the coffin for any relationship. While this may seem to contradict whats been traditionally taught as effective relationship building-givin your all till youve got no givin, remembering balance is key-dont neglect any aspect of your life, cater equally to all things that are important to you, youll thank yourself in the future. It will keep you a happier person, thus a happier person to be in a relationship with. KEEP IN MIND: finding someone on a similar trajectory. You two dont have to be the same, but you should compliment one another. You should have similar values in issues that are important to you -be it morality, family planning, and relationship aspirations. Again-honesty is key- if you know there are things that important to you that you are not flexible on-perhaps your religious beliefs or becoming a parent in the future, let it be known. Again, resentment can roar its ugly head when we disregard our wants in favor for anothers. Being truthful early on can save unnecessary hurt. 4.what are you really looking for? Be honest with yourself. At this moment in your life, are you ready for a relationship?Have you taken the steps in your life to attract this type of a relationship? Are you learning to love yourself unconditionally and accept yourself of your flaws? Are you constantly working towards laying foundation for your future to be a happy, healthy self-sufficient individual? Showing someone youve taken strong consideration into your personal future, shows your commitment to long term goals. Theyll take you and the relationship seriously. Adversely, If your see your future on the bridge to nowhere, your relationships may suffer a similar fate. Again, reference 1A. If you feel as if youre searching for a mate to feel a void, figure out how to get what you want internally before you look for an external source that could be gone as quickly as it appeared. S Finding stability and balance in your everyday life will transfer into any relationship in your life, be it personal (family, friends, romantic) or professional( work/educational colleagues).
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 23:11:43 +0000
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