A personal message from me.(Demonant) Alright so lately, Ive had a lot more attitude and less patience to some people who dont deserve it, and i can only apologize, but i will explain why and this isnt a sympathy message so when i get on, i dont wanna hear im sorry blah blah. This is a status so you can get a hint of what ive been going through. Alright so this goes back to 1 year ago that i got sick with a very mental and physical Disease called lymes, if you are unaware of it give it a look up on google. Basically i would go on endless days of feeling like im was basically dying, i would go on days where i didnt eat because i felt like my throat was closing up, and for months of being UN-diagnosed, i was pretty convinced i was gonna die. Truly noone will ever understand the extent of how much i went through, constant blood tests, and doctor trips. It got to the point where i hated to be alone because i was afraid i was gonna pass out or just die on spot. So living with that disease on top, on my 17th birthday, my grandpa passed away after battling cancer for 2 years and being cancer free, to getting dementia. The hardest part about someone with dementia and my grandpa being so close to me was going to see him and him looking me in the eye and saying who are you. So, i was told he passed away at the night of my birthday i was already not in a good state of mind, and i was out picking up my sister with my mom and my sister got punched by a boy at her friends hangout place, so i went in and threatened the staff and pushed people around, ending up with me being handcuffed out the door and taking too the Police Station, and after all that got cleared up, we had my grandpas wake to go too. We arrived there and sat there for 1 hour, just to get a call that our house was on fire. We all panicked and rushed home, only too see our house burned to the ground and the fire department apologizing, but safety they got the pets out unharmed besides 2 cats that i found 10 days later in really bad state, but alive. We were forced into a hotel for a week with no clothes besides the ones we saved from the fire that reaked of smoke and fire departments water chemical. but we had something. Everyone holding fundraiser for us and i just felt grateful, but at the same time really hurt after all that happened too us in such short time. 3 months after that, we moved down to a different state to start a new life, leaving behind all my friends and my childhood. And i was still battling this disease, but we didnt know what it was. From doctor to doctor, all they did was say i have anxiety from the fire. And i knew they were wrong. From me going to my parents and siblings telling them im sick and i cant take living this way anymore, only too be told that im only seeking for attention and its all in my head. The only reason i got finally diagnosed is cause i blew up on my family saying that im not mental and im sick, if i dont get treated, then i wont live much longer, basically saying i was gonna commit suicide. We saw 3 doctors after that and finally the right doctor diagnosed me with evidence from a blood test. Shocking everyone who thought i was faking everything and didnt believe in me. And i started a heavy course of treatment for 30 days. I feel just about 90% better, but as of now i still get sick a lot. There hasnt been a day in the past 3 weeks where i havent felt sick, i barely get any sleep, and its believed too be that the disease weakened my immune system, and the antibiotics arent working to fight incoming sicknesses, so im being seen in tomorrow for tests again to get my immune working and ill be a lot better with these colds. Basically, this is just for everyone who thinks im just a problem child, that im really not. I truly never disclose of my personal life, but its starting to affect my social life as well, where im more uptight and less patience. Yes i do have a lot of anger for everythings that happened to me this year. Thats why i came back to ss, to see old friends and finally achieve some goals. This is a long status, but truly, i hope it opens a lot of your eyes to understand a bit about me, that im not one for drama or hate and bs, but im just struggling with irl problems and have low patience to have people bait me and start drama with me on a game that i try and come on to escape the real world for a bit and have some fun. Thanks if you read the full thing and sorry to those ive been crewl too, btw Giovanno21, this apology isnt directed towards you, you can go back to hiding under a rock for all i care with ya:)
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 06:06:08 +0000
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