A post by pastor William Mark Bristow: This is the things we have to put up with....even in front of 80 students at Disciple Now standing in front of a church building.... Last night at Parker, I was verbally ambushed with serious criticism of our leadership just before the service. I invited the individual to leave. Here are some dos and donts of etiquette and respect. (From an article in the Lutheran Blog with a few of my personal additions. My additions are in parenthesis -- author unknown) 1) (Do NOT attack your pastor or leader minutes before he is to speak unless you want to hear an hour-and-a-half of angry rant. And dont run to tell the pastor all your problems minutes before the sermon, or about your bleeding condition while he is trying to eat his spaghetti with family and friends in the restaurant. Call the Pastor at the office, or make an appointment if you must have a face-to-face.) 2) You know how your doctor, lawyer and dentist had to complete years of grueling training and had to face numerous credentialing bodies before practicing her or his profession? Me too. In most cases I have completed a four-year undergraduate degree, a three-year professional degree, completed internships and clinical training. So when you assume I’m an idiot who just doesn’t understand, I’m gritting my spiritual teeth and remembering Christ’s humility. I’m smiling, but only on the outside. (Im still working on the Christianity - kindness - thing ... so tread carefully, you may not be so lucky with me.) 3) Your offering is not a tip for a good sermon, nor are you paying for services rendered. Your stewardship, bringing your tithes and offerings to the community in which you worship, is a spiritual practice that comes right out of scripture. The people Jesus taught and healed lived in grinding poverty. And then there were the taxes, enforced by a brutal occupation army. Remember Matthew the Tax Collector and all those centurions running around? They weren’t there for a parade. Yet Jesus still presumed the Hebrew practice of tithing. Failure to give appropriately is a spiritual problem. I know, and I am praying for you. 4) You probably think I only work an hour a week, because that is how often you see me. But that one hour a week took hours of preparation. I also managed to visit several people who were sick or homebound, and had to call the plumber and the dumpster company. I also represented the church at a civic function, and took three long phone calls telling me last week’s sermon was “too political” because I pointed out that Jesus insisted we care for the poor. It’s been a busy week, but I kept it down to under sixty hours, so that’s good, right? (In my case, our office oversees the business of 4 food bank warehouses, and a youth center, plus 2 church facilities, 2 congregations, an orphanage, and conducts from 5 to 9 major mission evangelism events a year -- and when Im home Im in the office from about 10 - 5 Mon - Fri and I preach 3 times on Sunday - 1 time on Tuesday, 1 time on Wednesday. I spent two days last week taking apart and repairing a $4,000 keyboard that one of YOU spilled coke in -- I saved the keyboard and the $800 repair fee.) 5) Oh, and about Sunday morning… I have been “on,” like rock concert “on,” all morning. I’m smiling and being social, but I’m actually fried. You know that important thing you needed to tell me as you shook my hand and headed off to brunch? I forgot it, along with the important things eight other people told me. Sorry, I didn’t mean to, but you better write it down, send it in an email, or leave me a message. I think it is important because you think it is important, but I’ve already forgotten it. 6) I work for God. I know it sounds insane, but that’s it, flat out. Every other level of authority, bishop, vestry or church council, is just middle management. I didn’t accept this call to make money. I accepted it because I couldn’t say “no” to God any longer. That means I’m not always going to preach what you want to hear. Sometimes I’m going to challenge you, in fact, sometimes I’m going to tick you off. I don’t do it for fun. I do it because Jesus told us this following thing was going to be hard, and that we needed to do it with a good team behind us. And I’m on your team by choice. If I stop challenging you, you’ll know that I am either exhausted or scared. (Im not scared -- ignore than one in my case.) Neither is good for you or the church you love. 7) Speaking of scared, I’d like to keep my job. I may have a spouse working in the community, kids in the local schools, and I most certainly have student loans that will follow me to the grave. It’s a razor’s edge up here, trying to please God and middle management and every person sitting in the pews. I need your prayers, and possibly a good therapist… (In my case, a Godly Board of Directors oversees the Non-Profit Corporation - not a voting congregation. And Im not afraid of you - or the devil in you...) 8) I care more about the regulars. I know I’m not supposed to, but I do. You know, the one’s who show up in the pouring rain, there for every fund raiser and Bible study. When a perfect stranger shows up demanding the rites of the church and treating me like I’m an unfortunate prop in their personal movie, it’s a problem. She may be your granddaughter, but she hasn’t been inside of a church, except as a bridesmaid, in years. She may promise to raise that child as a Christian, but you and I both know she’s not going to get up on Sunday morning. I’m having serious theological qualms about this, I’m just not telling you. (Im liable to tell you...) 9) (In my case ... ignore this one ... the laymen do not run the leadership. -- yet I have included it for those poor unfortunate people who do.) When you insist on “the way we do things in this church,” I’m wondering when you stopped worshiping a living God and started worshiping a building and its resident bureaucracy. Give me half a chance, and I’ll help you drop the average age of worshipers and give this church a future. Many thousands of churches close every year. This doesn’t have to be one of them. But it’s your choice. When you are ready to look forward instead of backward, I’ll be there to lead the way. That is, after all, what you keep telling me I’m supposed to do. 10) (If you dont like what is happening here, dont stay and create confusion. There are plenty of First Frigidaire Churches down the street. Each one with a Polar Bear behind the pulpit, ice sickles sitting on the pews and ushers skating up and down the aisles. GO THERE, and annoy them. ) 11) Finally, I am human. Really. That nasty comment you made on your way out the door? It hurt. And wasn’t very Christian. But I forgive you, and still love you, because that’s how I roll. (When we began utilizing the ministries and leaders God sent us, and I went from preaching 4 times on Sunday to 3 times -- it happened to be Pastor Appreciation Day. In the final service one old Sister Bucketmouth waited til everyone was gone to ask, So! Youre only preaching 3 services now? Yep, I replied. Maybe we can cut your salary, said the old biddie. I guess Pastor Appreciation Day is over, I said in her direction as she walked out the door.)
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 16:24:33 +0000
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