A teacher once told her students to make a list of people they hated. Each of the students made a list of names. The teacher then asked them to purchase potatoes from the market. She asked them to boil their potatoes and keep them in a plastic bag and to carry this bag around all the time during the day and place it beside their pillow while sleeping. They had to do this for at least one week. After the third day, the potatoes had started rotting and started giving off a foul smell. By the fourth day, the students approached their teacher saying the bags had become unbearable. At this, the teacher replied, “Do you see it now? The people whom you hate are not affected by your hate. You carry it with you all the time and everywhere you go. The only person, your negative feelings affect are you, yourself. Forgive them and be free once more.” If we could forgive the malicious behaviour of others, we can fill our lives with peace and happiness. Forgiveness is a sign of greatness and magnanimity. Great are those who forgive. We have to close our karmic accounts — people have both good and bad things in their ledger, according to which they get their next birth. The jnani finishes all the accounts here only. With whomever he has an account, he forgives him. Even if he has to suffer a bit for it, still he thinks it is worthwhile. He forgives, forgets and frees everyone. He releases everyone. This is an exercise. Just as we exercise our body, in the same way, we have to exercise our mind, and in this exercise, all accounts have to be closed because if the accounts don’t close, we will have to come again and again to settle them. How to forgive is a difficult task. If a rational person wants to forgive anybody’s behaviour, the memories of hurt feelings make it nearly impossible to do so. Modern psychologists have devised many techniques. Be honest towards yourself. Do not denigrate the person whom you are not able to forgive. Maybe, he is not as guilty as you make him out to be. Take a piece of paper and write down all the conflicting feelings about the concerned person. Do it not just once, but many times. It’s called mental cleansing. The mind will slowly begin to get lighter. Understanding the other person’s point of view makes self-analysis easier. It’s best to forgive and forget; grudges only weigh you down and lead to unhappiness and grief.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Aug 2013 07:28:28 +0000
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