A tribute to my love. The first piece have written since the war. She deserves every moment of my time in writing it, and every breath I took in the pursuit of expressing myself. I love you honey.... ANGELA Shes the light that calms the storm within me, shes the governor that pulls me back when I become eccentric. Shes my guardian, shes the reason the darkness has become illuminated in my mind, shes my savior, my rock, and my motivation. She shows me every day that true love is in the eye of the beholder. Painfully she looks down on herself, but raises me up. Painfully I look down on myself and only want to raise her up. She shows me the logic in things through the fog of dismay. I respect her, I love her, and I feel as though my walls may finally come down. She disarms me, brings down my defenses, she make me feel as though the turbulent waters of life are far smoother than I realize. She gives me hope where there was none. She has shown me the way just through simple kindness and acceptance. Finally I feel as though I can relax, as though I have finally found my “rough around the edges” angel who has shown me the way. Who has shown me how to focus, who has complimented who I am, and made me a better man through her display of unconditional love. She is the weight that balances me, she is the mysterious piece of the puzzle that fits, that makes me feel as though I can be whole and function again. Her children light up my life, make me smile, make me want to be a better person to show them I can be a beacon as well. They make me want to love again in a way I swore was false and non existent. I love them with every fiber of my being, and starve inside to give them the world. I find myself aching, hurting, and starving to give them more. I feel as though they deserve the world, the love in my heart wants to overwhelm me, and explode to encompass them in all the kindness and caring I feel for them. I ache to express how I feel for them, I ache to show them that I am real, and my love for them is real. I just want to explode, surround them with my caring, defend them to my last breath against sadness, harm, and ill will. They are amazing, intelligent, and remarkable. I want so badly to incorporate them into my daughters life so they can ALL feel the love that surrounds them. But I hold back, I slow up for fear of the unspeakable to spare my little girl, as well as them the suffering of enduring another “divorce”, and the agony that ensues.... I am enthused, joyous, happy, terrified, worried, and frightened all at the same time. The one thing I DO KNOW... This woman is the greatest woman of my life... She truly represents all the values I hold dear. She is an incredible mother, an incredible friend, and the best companion I have ever known. My love for her runs deeper than the oceans, and is more vast than the heavens.. Mom, dad, I have d=finally let go, and let life and the lord lead me. Thus far this is where I have arrived. For the first time in eons, I am truly, REALLY content, happy, and in love. Funny how moms advice always seems to lead me down the right path :)
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 06:49:32 +0000
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