AN ACTUAL CRAIGS LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2012-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriends purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, Id like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didnt expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my .45 cal. pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan . She had just bought me that KimberCustom Model 1911 .45 ACPpistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening and of course the jacket was required to carry the pistol in a legal and concealed fashion. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isnt it?! I know it probably wasnt fun walking back to wherever youd come from with crap in your pants. Im sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or Momma as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what youd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Vans Go Go Girls, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet and I.D. into the big pink pimp mobile that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire drivers side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DAs office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.) ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path youve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, SemperFi, Alex Morgan Frank
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 03:31:41 +0000
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