About six months ago, I got back in touch with an old friend of mine - he looked me up on Facebook, and asked for my number. I didnt really want to: he had sort of disappeared around two years ago - changed his house, changed his numbers, maybe even his city. But I decided our friendship was worth saving, and so we met over dinner. The man who sheepishly met me at the restaurant was hardly the guy I used to know: he used to be a model and had the looks that went with it. Tall and well-built, he had always had a certain way of carrying himself that people mistook for a bad attitude. His eyes and turn of mouth usually conveyed a sneering disdain. That day, his expression was one of weariness and being haunted. Over the dinner, he unburdened one secret after another, and I kept listening, too shocked to respond in words. He was gay, he said, and struggled to say something else. Thats okay, man, Im happy for you. I always did have a feeling. He told me about his lover for more than five years, now a doctor in the US at an Ivy league university and a leading researcher in his own right. Whoa! Nice: I thought you were good friends, but Im happy for that! I was diagnosed with HIV two years ago, which is when I stopped talking to you. Have a look at this, he said, passing me his iPad. I stopped mid-bite. Those reports were all just numbers and big words to me: viral load, and WBC count, and lord knows what else. I was admitted to a hospital for a persistent jaundice infection. I could not believe my ears when the doctor told me. Yes, my boyfriend also has HIV now. The medicines that the doctor has prescribed work for me: I can likely stay on them for a decade or so, but...but the nightmares never stop. Nightmares? What nightmares? One of the side effects of the medicines is nightmares. Another is extreme physical tiredness, which is why I look the way I now look. But you were in Bangalore all this while and you never told me! I could have... What could you have done? Gotten disgusted with me, a freak with a freak disease? Helped? I dont harbour any illusions - I know I am as good as dead. We continued to talk through the dinner. His boyfriend is in touch with the leading HIV researchers in the US professionally, and hopefully, they will both be married in the US some time next year. I could not sleep for a few days after the conversation. I read and read and wrote and wrote. Though HIV is manageable for life, like diabetes, as of now there is no cure. However, it is a rumour that HIV is exclusively a gay mans disease: it affects straight men and women as well (though Angelina Jolies Gia depicts the initial days of the AIDS epidemic in the US touchingly and devastatingly). The US government delayed funding HIV research for decades, believing that it is solely a gay mens disease. It is not. Please educate yourself, and be safe, even if you want to sleep around - be safe, stay safe, and do not jeopardize others health in any way. And do not stop loving others even if they have HIV :) #World_AIDS_Day
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 03:53:42 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015