After much careful thought and consideration, Ive decided to accept your nomination and run for President of the United States in the 2016 election. I will be running on the do nothing platform, since weve all seen from past experience that this country gets into trouble every time a president does something. To counter this trend, I pledge to do absolutely nothing during my term in office. I will not raise taxes, but on the other hand, I will not grant any tax breaks or exemptions. I will not make any speeches, I will not visit foreign dignitaries or host any lavish White House soirées. I will remain completely uninformed. I will not read any newspapers or books, I wont watch TV ,or listen to the radio. In fact, if elected, I promise I wont even change out of my jammies. Ill just sit my fat ass on the White House veranda, sip coffee all day long and cackle quietly to myself as I draw my 400,000 dollar annual salary and accrue my 50,000 dollar annual expense account, my 100,000 dollar nontaxable travel account, and my 19,000 dollars for entertainment. Thank you for your support.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 22:40:25 +0000
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