After the disappointing news about Expedia yesterday, glad to get an email today that my poem below has finished in the top 40 in the poetry republic competition and will be published in the competition E-Book, This is my 2nd year entering and I would recommend people to keep it in mind for next year. It is anonymous and the participants judge the entries by picking and leaving comments on their top 4 choices in each round. As you can see from below because its anonymous you get some real honest feedback and get to leave honest feedback on other peoples work in return. I would just like to say Up yer hole big jam roll! to the troll that described this poem as a bit Mcgonnagal (sic) I might have taken him a bit more seriously if he had at least spelled the mans name right Should She Ever Go Looking That day we walked in Welsh fields England lay beyond the far muddy bank of the Wye visible to us both as we strode on our way She was a hybrid creature Welsh mother, English father I belonged to a different border As long as this fair haired child held my hand I could pretend that this was home Up there on the tracks was the odd passing train We waved to passengers, travelling too fast to see me climbing carefully up the elm tree via the crude ladder that I guess some kids had made Bits of roughly sawn wood nailed to the trunk The house above was a shoddy piece of work a few plywood boards slotted in a nook The foundations were poor and I had to be careful where I stepped. I told her that up there I could see everything that lay ahead she said, “Dad, just be careful on your way down” In my pocket I carried some bric-a-brac for us to bury some marbles, action figures, bits of lego We didnt need things to grow, just stay the same The idea was to let them remain there for years bedded in green earth, marked by a ruck of stones I regret returning. I regret that nothing remains In my head Im always digging it all back up Judges comments on this poem 20.05.2014 I think this poem has a beautiful haunting quality, there are many ways to tease out the poignant moments of this poem, but I feel there is a bit more teasing to be done, to increase the impact further. 24.05.2014 Really paints a picture, but the ending seems a little weaker than the rest of the poem - it almost doesnt quite match, although you can see what the poet is trying to portray. 25.05.2014 Beautifully written, fully descriptive yet still poetic. I found it sad and moving. 02.06.2014 A really fine evocation of time, place and feeling. 03.06.2014 This is an interesting recollection and reflection. 03.06.2014 A memory captured. 04.06.2014 The speakers honesty and directness is moving. No wasted words. Brilliant use of double meaning. Excellent capture of the conflict between the eternal poetic moment and its erosion caused by time. This poem archives a transient moment and underscores the fragile precious nature of relationships. 05.06.2014 Beautiful, heartfelt piece. Loved the lines We didnt need things to grow, just stay the same. Very moving. 08.06.2014 Its a bit Mcgonnagal, isnt it? 10.06.2014 I like the thought of burying things just for them to be there and stay the same, not necessarily to grow, I liked the poem 12.06.2014 I like the unravelling of this memory. Vivid images and a lovely last line. 13.06.2014 A nice idea, some poignant moments, but felt quite unedited and prosey in places (but isnt written as a prose poem). 13.06.2014 Tragic piece of beautiful poetry, great metaphors. 13.06.2014 Very touching! 14.06.2014 Nice...
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 17:59:29 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015