All defensiveness stems from the need to be right and frustration over not being able to control. This is why defensiveness is a component of suppressed violence within oneself; it is violent to wish to control others. We only have a defense response when we are trying to protect some thing or some belief. The earthquake of discomfort you feel moving inside of you when someone insults you is your own insecurity. Defensiveness has nothing to do with what another person has said. It is only your weak, approval-seeking self that is throwing a tantrum for agreement. All upset is a fear of rejection. All defensiveness and emotional tumult is a fear response because of your need for acceptance and ruthless control of the territory of your safe fantasy world. Real strength only comes from vulnerability, not toughness. Only true vulnerability can set you free from the anxiety of painful insecurity. Openness is free and flowing — it is a dance, while being closed-off is protective and unmovable. Negative feelings can only exist through your resistance. When you emotionally stand aside from the attack, negative feelings pass by you like a charging bull. When you realize that the feeling you have — is — the response you choose, you are free in that moment. — Bryant McGill (This passage is from Simple Reminders the book. We appreciate you visiting and taking the time to read.) New book: SimpleReminders.info Subscribe: BryantMcGill.net twitter/BryantMcGill google/+BryantMcGill The Show: SimpleReminders.tv Call-in or Text: (310) 486-9494 bryantmcgill/20140217211805.html
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 04:46:32 +0000
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