All my life I’ve had people tell me; “You’re 16. What do you know? You don’t pay taxes. You don’t pay bills or a mortgage. You don’t worry about having a job. You don’t have mouths to feed.” You’re right. I’m only 16. But at the age of 13 I was already contemplating suicide. At the age of 13 I was relentlessly told how ugly, fat, and untalented I was. How I would never amount to anything. At 15 I held a bottle of pills in my hands several times a week. At 15 my parents fought so loudly the whole house would shake. At 15 I started telling myself how fat and worthless I was. At 15 I stopped eating for two months. By the age of 16 my thighs were covered in battle scars. At 16 I learned what it was like to pray every night that I wouldn’t wake up to see the sun. At 16 I swallowed a bottle of pills and had my stomach pumped in the middle 3rd period. At 16 I woke up in a hospital and crying and screaming because I wasn’t dead. At 16 I was told my depression and anxiety were just cries for attention. At 16 I learned what it was like to feel the rejection from the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I learned what it was like to feel the love my parents used to have for me drain out of their eyes. So I maybe 16 but I feel like I am a thousand years old. I have fought battles you cannot even begin to imagine. I have endured years of relentless torment and taunts, and when I asked for help I was told I deserved it. I may be 16 but I have endured more than you ever have in your 36 years of life. So I may not have to pay taxes. But at 16 I have anxiety attacks over the piles of homework I have to turn in the next day. I may not have to worry about feeding my kids. but even after 2 years of rehabilitation I still get depressed if I eat too much. So you tell me; “You’re 16. What do you know?” And my answer will always be; “Far too much”
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 05:17:14 +0000