All of the Reasons Why You act as if I planned for this but you don’t know the half of it, you haven’t a single clue. You could never understand my love for rain; how beautiful it is even after the wind subsides bringing petrichor. I wanted to dance beneath it-- you said people would stare I did so anyways and watched as you walked away. You never bothered to decipher my love for music or the particular webs of notes that made my heart strum like a six string no--you never bothered looking for a pick. Your only concern was how my preferred genre contrasted from yours. You never once fathomed watching a full movie without touching your lips to mine never truly grasped the scene or fell in love with any of the characters got offended when I forced you to keep your eyes on the screen-- we were in a theater, for God’s sake. We never spent a single day alone at your house, nor mine, never lazed around watching the day go by around us while baking fatty desserts, not watching our favorite movies playing stupid board games I would have loved it but no--when we weren’t with our friends you were begging on your knees for me to be in the same position wouldn’t take no for an answer. You once asked the medical definition of depression, never inquired for more. Never unraveled the ribbons that tumbled out of the dusty corners of my brain late at night when I couldn’t wipe the tears away fast enough. Never respected the days where I woke up wishing I didn’t wake up I just wanted to be left alone quit trying to hold my hand you’re just pissing me off. No--all you ever said when those days came and went was, “I’m sorry”. Parts of this were my fault too-- I could’ve tried harder to make you understand-- but the more I distanced myself the more comfortable I felt. You never claimed to be a poet, Dear, but I did; I claim it each and every day. You never read the words I asked you to but the one good thing I’ve held on to from our time together are all the poems I’ve written of you, all of the words that have collected themselves to form the patchwork essence of who you are and I have finally come to understand even though you probably haven’t perhaps you never will but for this, I thank you kindly.
Posted on: Mon, 30 Sep 2013 07:07:42 +0000
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