Allthough I have some closure for Kenton, my heart still aches. I know the rest belongs to a time game. Some one landon the"move ahead 2 spaces " spot on this please. We continue to strugle with my grandfather. My grandmother pushes foward, even though she says she is doing fine I see the same pain in her eyes that I know others saw in mine. Cade has a hard time with everything. His daily prayers include his grandpas not dying. While spending time with him weekly, he is afraid that if he doesnt see him then he will die that day. This has also brought out feelings and memories from our own history, so he clings to mommy like an 18 month would. Seth skips the subject of sickness all together and just talks about cars and music woth grandpa. "If I dont talk about it, it will go away like it did in mom" . He doesnt quite understand, nor does he understand why some cancer comes back. Dien spends his spare time helping with chores around grandparents home, and helpimg mom with stuff around the house. He doesnt talk about it either. Just keeps working harder. Myself, well you would think one would get used to the sickness that has seemed to plague my family, but I havent. Im afraid I have passed the genes along to my boys of "pushing on". With the day filled with things that NEED to be done, and helping my grandparents when they need, and work....its no wonder it took 2 months just to make it to L.A. to say goodbye. So when you see the stress on my childrens faces, the unusual quote from thier mouths, my stern look even when I am trying to smile, please understand....we are only human.....we live prayer every day and love those who pray for our loved ones.....we are not ignoring/rude/disliking....just goung through a tough time.
Posted on: Mon, 16 Sep 2013 14:14:17 +0000
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