Almost 3 years ago I was hit by a car and almost lost my life. Since then, I have endured unimaginable difficulties learning to live and thrive independently on my own again. Today I can tell all of you, that I live on my own finally, and all my help was taken away from me to teach me a lesson.... that I can do it on my own. When I was released from the hospital 3 years ago, I fell into a deep depression about my current situation, I was ripped away from my independence and had to move back into my mothers home and almost constantly needed help with day to day activities, I wasnt nice to people who helped me either, and I was sometimes ungrateful....I was in alot of pain, and held alot of anger with my situation (losing the ability to walk).....just getting dressed was even an issue. I worked very hard and diligently to re-learn how to drive again with hand controls, I got my license back, and I bought my own vehicle equipped with hand controls and started driving on my own. During that time I learned how to take my wheelchair apart and throw it in the back seat while driving alone. I also learned how to take the wheelchair back out of the car to put it back together when I was done driving and needed to get out of the car. I will admit I was still being lazy and liked it when people came with me when I drove so that I didnt have to break down my wheelchair. Anyone who came with me would just throw my chair in the back of the car and it would be alot easier. After I learned how to drive I coped with the loss of the use of my lower extremities by going out and drinking at the bars almost constantly. I guess I was in a new party phase or RUT u may even call it. I never drove drunk though.. I did however act like a fool to people I loved and cared about and came home crying after the bar because I was highly intoxicated and angry and depressed with my situation as a newly disabled person. And I never thought that someone would ever love me the way I was. During that time, however. I met a man, a man who I didnt know at the time would teach me very valuable lesson in life. He loved me, he took care of me, he was my lover, and he was my everything. We both met while drinking/ numbing our pain at the bars. We then spent more and more time together. Until finally we decided to be serious. We then decided drinking wasnt going to make anything better for us, and that we made each other happy anyways. We decided that our relationship was too important to waste it away by drinking and having miscommunications and fighting for no reason. We started doing so good and we were so happy together. (Even sober) We helped each other and taught each other valuable lessons in life. This man helped me so much. And taught me so much and helped me fix my everyday problems living as a paraplegic. He had faith in me that one day the things that I thought I couldnt do, I COULD DO!! He became upset with me because I didnt have faith in myself. He thought I didnt try hard enough. And sometimes I did have those times where I gave up and thought that I wouldnt be able to get better, or get stronger, or learn how to transfer onto the shower bench all by myself. He never gave up on me. Until one day he finally did. Even though I was trying. Even though I was starting SCI FIT to get stronger for myself so that I could release the burden I put him through having to be there to help me constantly. I did get stronger. And I made small improvements here and there. I could wheel my chair longer and faster, I could finally get up off the couch without this mans help, and finally, after he gave up on me, I learned to transfer to my shower bench all by myself. The reason I could do this was because sci fit had been making me strong, and because this man finally forced me to believe in myself and to do it. Not only did he force me to become independent, but he also taught me that I could still be loved even though I was disabled. He improved my self confidence day after day. I now look at all of this as an important lesson. Do not be lazy, always believe in yourself, that you are capable and that u can do it! And never believe that you will not be loved because of something u cannot do. Today Ive lost a loved one from my life. But he gave me something very important when he left. He gave me independence from everything and everyone. Thank you for forcing me to be a better person, and to strive for what I wanted, and to never give up. And thank you for teaching me that I can have love, and that I can be loved. I love you, and I always will. Now its time to change my life and to strive for bigger and better things! Thank you all for reading! I love you all!
Posted on: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 18:35:55 +0000
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