Alright so this is my first time writing about my life into words and to the public… but here it goes. Just a heads up apology for anything that might feel uncomfortable or structurally wrong. Honestly speaking, I don’t know who I am nor know much about myself. But some of the things I do know about myself are usually the negative things about myself, simply flaws. I know I am not the only one out there in this world. We are all humans, no matter who we are, we all go through things in similar ways; troubles, mistakes, regrets, sins. But as cliché as this might sound, it’s how you handle those things and what you realize through those things, that make and shape you. This is absolutely true, but luckily for us, it’s not just ourselves that has to overcome those things. We also have God. The one and only God, the father of all creations, the miracle worker, the best friend. My relationship with God has never been honest. Even though I knew he existed, even though I knew that he knew absolutely every single little detail of my thoughts and actions, I still committed sins, I still did things I knew he wouldn’t appreciated. Sometimes I even did things just to question his presence. Also, I know that I am not the only one who has gone through these things. It’s difficult. It’s hard. It seems impossible to break through and receive forgiveness by him. I have been through this path so many times in my life. I always questioned his love for us. It always hard for me to believe and have trust in God because I am that type of person to believe through physical evidence and hardcore facts. God’s love and strength was only present in the bible. Even though I attended church almost all my life, up until college, I was truly never there. I was honestly never there with the lord. My mind drifted away with sins. I never really respected God. There were definitely moments where I felt like God was touching my heart and soul. But it all went away when I wanted to do something I knew he wouldn’t appreciate. Even after crying my soul out through testimony and heart to heart time with my church seniors, the next day I was a sinner again. I am not proud of anything I have done against God. I have disrespected him and totally, with a lot of effort, ignored him, dismissed him, and pretended he didn’t exist. All of this changed. I changed. My heart changed. My soul has been purified by him. All because of one person whom God has sent to me so that I can go back to him. Also, because he knows I am believe things through concrete evidence and hardcore facts, he showed me and displayed his abilities to me, physically, emotionally, and mentally. The work of God is so miraculous. Thursday, August 26, 2014, I attended a game night hosted by NYU InterVarsity Asian-American Christian Fellowship. Truthfully, I never thought about actually joining a christian group during college. I only said that I would to people so that they won’t judge me or just to let them hear what they wanted to hear. I may have been an honest man with things in my life, but I definitely know that I wasn’t honest with God. I only went to this event to meet more people and make new friends in college. But I never expected to meet someone who was going to change me. Change my approach on God. Change my faith. Change my views in life. Change me, the sinner, to a child of God. Although it took time for me to realize all of this, God was patient and waited for me until the moment I realized what he has given me. What kind of blessing he has given me. I mark tonight, or early morning of Friday, October 24, 2014 as the day I took my first step towards God. My first honest and faithful step towards God. The person, more like an angel straight from God’s throne, is the one and only Anna Lin of NYU. I first met her at the game night. She was this really hyper person with so much synergy and love for people. She literally went around the whole room making new friends and becoming a big sister for each and one of the freshman. She had so much spirit and kindness towards all the people she greeted. She was also very friendly and complimented people on basically every little thing about that person. After she exchanged numbers with me, she would always text me or facebook chat me first. She always asked me How I was doing and where I was so that we can see each other for just a bit and just see how we were doing with college and life. I honestly never realized what the effects of her kindness and overwhelmingly friendliness did to me until today; 60 days after meeting her for the first time. I realized that God had poured out all his love, trust, faith, strength, joy, happiness, and most importantly his holy spirit into her heart. She wasn’t just living on her own, but with God. Every step with God, every action with God, every single thought and word with God. After weeks, months, years of not attending church, not bothering about God, not caring about how my life looked like to God… after just living on my own by human capabilities, I truly with all my heart realized that God still wanted me to come back to him. I realized that after all I’ve done, he still loved me. I realized that through Anna, through all the people he placed in my life, he was trying to get me back to him. Our God, My God never fails. He sure proved that once again. I just want to thank Anna Lin for just being part of my life and changing me to the person God wanted me to be, changing me back to a child, a believer of the one and only God. I give more thanks to God for still accepting me back, for still loving me throughout all these years regardless of all the sins I have committed against him. Anna always reminded me about the presence of God and also to smile because through my one smile, another can smile, then another and another and another, and ultimately the whole world happily living under the love and plans God has for us. Smile all the time and never forget God. Thank you. 10.24.14
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 05:22:23 +0000
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