Am I crazy that Im letting the wreck from Saturday bother me so bad? Praise God neither of us were hurt, but I play the events over and over in my mind. What should I have done differently? Could I have avoided that tree hitting us as it was falling? It all happened so quick. Did I have time? Did I panic? I felt I did which kept me from knowing what to do? Could I or should I have went in the ditch? How deep was the ditch? Is that why I didnt go that route? Is it my fault the truck is damaged? If I would have made a different choice, could I have kept the truck from getting damaged?But, at the same time I see images going through my head of what could have happened! It could have smashed the whole top of the vehicle down on top of us or even took the cab off as it hit the hood first and I continued to drive and never hit the brakes. Possibly, though that could have been what saved our lives. I dont know. All I know is a could have killed my husband Saturday and that bothers me terribly. What if that tree limb would have gotten him instead of stabbing into the dash when the whole pine tree feel on top of us? I almost feel guilt about it as it was my fault even though I tell myself it wasnt. I didnt know that a wreck that didnt injure you could make you feel this way. I didnt feel this way when someone hit me from behind several months ago. This was so much more scary. I keep replaying the moment I seen that tree falling and Jimmy hollering this is gonna hurt and then asking me if I was ok. I really didnt think we were walking away from it. Now, as I drive, I flinch as I pass a tree that even looks as if it could be leaning. I hold my breath until I get past it. Ugh! I hate feeling this way. I know I should just be thankful but my brain will not let me stop thinking about it. Anyway, I know this is a huge post, but wanted to get it off my mind. Felt like I could say it on here without saying it face to face to someone and having to hear them think Im crazy for feeling this way when no one was hurt. I know it could have been so much worse and I think thats what bothers me so much. Thanks for listening. :-)
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 14:16:20 +0000
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