An interesting parenting lesson came this morning. So the boys and I were playing our favourite game of hot potato with the big ball. We were all laughing and jumping around when I hit the ball pretty hard, causing it to go flying into the light fixture on the ceiling. The fixture came crashing down, smashing to pieces. I was still giggling from the lingering excitement of the game when I noticed the boys were staring at me in silence waiting for some sort of reaction. I smiled, said Id clean it up and that we could continue with our game. They looked confused. Ive been reflecting on that. Their reaction says a lot about how Ive parented in the past. It also says a lot about the woman Ive become and the mother I strive to be. Im so glad I was the one who caused the fixture to break. Why? Because it allowed me to be in their shoes for a brief moment and with that came the gift of empathy that is often difficult for us parents to have for our children. I thought of how excited I was while we were playing and how that excitement kept me from making a better choice in terms of where we should have been playing. I thought of how, even after the fixture had fallen, I was still giggling, unable to contain my excitement despite the crash. I reflected back on how many times Id scolded Why are you smiling!? during moments I deemed to be serious, demanding respect. I realized that children, like us, dont have switches. They cant just turn emotions off an on and that sometimes our outwards simply dont reflect whats going on inside. Years worth of experience as an EA with the York Region District School Board came flooding back to me as I reflected. Everything I knew about behaviour surfaced. All of a sudden I could hear my excited little brain screaming teasers like frontal cortex and cognitive dissonance. What Ive learned this morning is that in order to really appreciate something you have to be immersed in it. You want to really get your kids, play. Play hard. Dont be afraid to shake things up a little. Open yourself up to change. Be silly sometimes. Be willing to try something new. Be gentle. Be brave. Be prepared for the adventure of a lifetime!
Posted on: Sun, 25 May 2014 15:25:19 +0000
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