And then there is A LITTLE RAIN on my Saturday, my favorite day! But it is okay. I love this life. It is so awesome! I truly live in a blessed Heaven every day, even with rain. But I am like everyone. I like the weather on weekends nice enough to allow outside activity. That will take on a whole new meaning for me after next Friday. Oh baby! It will be like the 70’s for me again on weekends, and I cannot wait. Whew! Such memories! But regaining focus, keeping feet on the ground, I confess the truth… we’ve been behind on rainfall and we need this rain to maintain a balance. I’m sure the vegetation and trees are happy. The lake is pleased to get a little fresh water. Our water supply will be blessed. Rain causing potholes in the road provides job security for the County road maintenance crew. The driveway repair crew I must eventually hire to repair the water damage to my asphalt drive will be blessed by work. I pray the roof in my bedroom does not leak, but if it does, I will hire a roofer and the work will bless him. I hear the birds singing, so I know the creatures are blessed. The clean air will bless us. Never mind that my big plans for this weekend were to take down the outside Christmas lights, burn brush, paint my storage shed green, straighten the garage, prepare planter boxes for my Spring garden, and rake my leaves. Those things are not going anywhere. If I feel compelled, I can slip on the polka-dot rubber boots and go at some of those projects anyway. Or, I can devote myself to them when the rain has finished blessing us. The drought summer taught me a lesson about complaining when it rains, so I have come to embrace the rain and feel its blessings. I was desperate that summer to save every one of my trees, to the tune of 10,000 gallons of water in the worst month. I strung out water hose and sprinklers like a network of connected arteries. I viewed them as lifelines for my trees, and I did not care what it cost me in time, or for hose, sprinklers, or water. I frivolously facilitated the Christmas bonus fund for the water company that summer, but each and every one of my trees survived. I am blessed by a shroud of beautiful trees every time I walk outside my door, and every time I pull into my driveway, and nothing could replace that blessing for me were it lost. From my perspective, though rain temporarily impairs, controls, prevents, and interrupts the humans, the blessed rain facilitates this heaven on earth for us. Rain gives us the ability to exist. Were it not for my restraint, societal mores and fear of somehow embarrassing friends and family, I would feel free to invite a man friend over, get naked, grab a soap, and go outside to enjoy a free, unpolluted, shower. I would celebrate all the great joy in my life, along with the gift of the rain. In the 60’s or 70’s, like at Austin Hippie Hollow, no one would have even noticed. Naked and true love were “in.” Actually, they are still in for me, especially true love. That is why I am very selectively saving myself body and soul (over a year now) until the right man asks. Now it might shock everyone, and entertain the beautiful man next door that looks like Jesus, and hardly talks when he comes over to visit me. But he would forgive me playing naked in the rain, just as he forgives my occasional blaring Stevie Ray and classic Rock and Roll. I know he is not the right man for me, but he is a really good platonic man friend, and a peaceful man of the Earth who also loves the trees. I think the other neighbors would freak out and call the cops. It is sort of terrible how mores and fear of judgment impair potentially blissful, harmless fun. But then there are always 6” pickets at Lowes. No I shouldn’t. Well, now I have said and felt too much. Should have stopped when I was talking about the damned lawn sprinklers. Yet again, I’ve started to miss having the right man in my life. Darn it. But there is such fun to be had on rainy days, in front of the fireplace, warm, passionate kisses, blessing each other just with presence, sharing food for the soul. There is one. I think he may just be the right one. I pray for something that would last forever, but in reality I would only hope to be his as long as it is good for him, only as long as he reaches out and wants me. The last one want me for 23 years, before he broke it, cheated, and I left- more than a year ago. This one could last the rest of my life. Waiting. Waiting to see whether he has the courage, and whether his heart leads him to my door. Oh man, for him to seek out my front door. The moment would be absolutely surreal, like Heaven come to Earth, a moment of pure human joy. The second I would have realized-with him. Away from dreams, back to feet planted on the ground, I know it cannot work if I pursue him. I cannot call. I cannot email. I cannot Facebook. I cannot knock on his door. All I am allowed is to exercise the ladylike restraint and wait for his heart to lead him to my door. Only then, can I feel, can I believe, he chooses me. I am screwed if he tries to call me though. I think I (unintentionally) blocked and deleted his number a long time ago. Oops.) OKAY, enough and good grief! I better stop drinking coffee and journaling, and thinking way too much. Time to get busy to address this wonderful Saturday so blessed by rain. I must away from this distracting, time wasting electronic gadget to revise perfect plans for this perfect day. I pray you have and I send you all the Peace, Light, and Love I can gather to share from within me. Then I pray you are blessed by the same, many tenfold more, and that you are filled. ~S
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 16:12:04 +0000
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