Anonymous asked, I have a ten-year-old son who is brilliant and is a perfectionist. If he misses a question on a test, or loses a board game, or loses a Wii game, or something similar, he automatically becomes extremely hard on himself, saying he is dumb, or cant do anything right, or he will just completely quit trying. We have NEVER given him this notion. We have always expressed to him that we are proud simply when he does his best, that we do not expect him to win or make an A on every test, that we are going to love him no matter what. He has recently been selected for a traveling soccer team. He is very good at soccer, but he expresses these same personality traits on the field. If he misses a shot, or if he stumbles, or another player wins the ball from him, he automatically slumps his shoulders, puts his head down, looks miserable, and essentially quits. He stops hustling, stops trying, and gives up. I am at a loss for how to deal with this behavior. I feel like I have tried everything to motivate him, to encourage him to simply do his best regardless of the outcome, to have a good attitude when he loses and be happy for the person who won. None of it seems to get through to him at all. My husband and I are considering making him quit the traveling team if he continues. But, Im not sure if that will teach him anything, since he wants to quit when he feels he has failed at something. Has anyone had a child with a similar problem, and does anyone have any advice how to effectively help him change? Thank you!
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 23:28:11 +0000
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