~ Another sleepless night as the storms continue to rattle the hearts and rain with tears. Another fruitless battle trying to allow the distractions to its job and numb the pain. It was supposed to be a night off from TV presenting, didnt volunteer at Al Fitrah, a day off from work, instead should spend time with the kids and try to get some rest. Long days ahead and long nights are expecting me the next two weeks. Instead, I did everything I could to stay busy, even washed the car and the Truck, met with the Luton 1Eid manager in the park to design the layout of this years 1Eid, some Dawah with some non Muslims and then ended up driving back East London at midnight. I spent the past three hours trying to finish tasks so I could get some rest. I finally realised, the heart is not resting so the body cannot. Oh Allah, how I wish we could have been better servants to You. You are Most High, The Majestic, Forever Living, Self Subsisting, Most Gracious and Most Merciful, We cannot praise You enough thus You are as You describe Yourself. The unrest in our hearts, the pangs of our reality and the state of our Ummah hurts deep oh Allah. Yaa Rabb all the harms upon our Ummah are due to our own sins and from one sin to the next we have become a heedless Ummah without care for consequences and without loyalty to what is better for us. We are a nation led by our desires as consumers chasing the false dreams that dunya projects for us daily. We are the sinners You warned us not to become and we have slipped into the Wahn that our beloved Prophet, alayhi Salaatu wa Salaam, warned us we would. The signs of the hour are all lining up oh Allah and we are afraid, the believers are afraid. Not of those who are evil and not of the evil forces or shayateen even, but of our own deeds, our own sins like seeds planted for so many years are now being harvested around the world. The chaos, the killing, the mischief, the arrogance, the oppressions and the list goes on and on. We did this to ourselves oh Lord. I acknowledge all my mistakes and wrongs, I have wronged myself Oh Allah. Forgive me, forgive us all, for none can forgive our sins, none can grant us Khushu or sukoon in our hearts except you. You love to pardon and erase sins and then replace them with Hasanaat, so do so for us Oh Lord, for if You do not have mercy upon us, if You do not forgive us Allah then we will surely be amongst the losers. Save us from that Oh Merciful Lord. I know whoever is reading this is not far from feeling the same way. Oh Allah accept this admission and excuse us all. Change the state of our affairs for the better yaa Rabb. We are eagerly waiting, anticipating and expecting Your Mercy, Your Guidance and Your Grace to save us, bring peace to our worlds and grant us Your Bliss in the Akhirah, Ameen yaa Rabbil Alameen.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 03:28:39 +0000