Another year gone by...more memories..more pain and heartache....think im just gonna dub down on the ps3 for a few hours then sleep the rest of the day...this is my friday the 13th...worst day of the year...ill be glad when its over. Superman and Kirito are dead n gone..im just the wondering wolf now...lost in the world..still looking for a place that I belong...dosent matter how old I am...in 22 years I still feel as lost as when this all began...and the one thing that had let me hold onto hope for so long..is gone..that possibility is dead..and wont ever come back....I cant figure out if im more heartbroken..or disappointed...I know people change over time...so why am I the only one thats held onto his pride...why am I still fighting a war that has no end in sight....No one deserves the bs ive been through..so why is wanting to belong somewhere so bad...i dont wanna be rich or famous...I like the simple life...so why is it so wrong? This world has become a sick and twisted version of the one I used to know....life has no meaning..without someone to share it with...im tired of being alone...idc if I have 100 years ahead of me...it dosent mean anything if I have to walk it alone...I keep going over everything in my head..about everything thats happened the last 10 years...I know the awnser to the question I keep thinking..and thats why it hurts...no matter what situation im in..shit always goes wrong..and the one factor in all of them..is me...ill always be a problem to people..an outcast of society..because i wont bend my knee to what everyone else wants or thinks is right...i dont want this life anymore...I want all this pain and suffering to just end...I want this cold icy feeling in my chest to just disappear for good....but I know that wont happen...after everything ive done over the years..i still get delt the shit end of things...I think im better off just immersing myself in computers and video games..that way no one has to deal with having me around. Still considering shutting my fb down..I already shut down the new one I had made...idk..im just tired of thinking about any of this shit. Thinkin about gettin completely smashed tonight..maybe then ill wake up an shit will be alright...cuz at this point..I dont think it ever will..and im tired of holding out hope for something thats never gonna come. Gonna dub down on the ps3 for a while then crashin out...deuces. https://youtube/watch?v=qf6hLhrHtqg
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 05:16:56 +0000
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