Are you coming from the head (knowledge-ego) or coming from the heart (vulnerability, feelings, sharing pain, courage) when you attempt to connect with people? We have been trained through school, work, parents, and society to come from the head and ignore/suppress feelings, but coming from the heart and being in the present moment is real life, is real living. Yesterday, I got called out big-time with a friend on my continuous safe, non-connecting pattern of using my book knowledge (used to be victim story) to attempt to get my needs met (intimacy, connection), but was playing it safe and not being vulnerable and probably attempting to be enough or impress or be the researcher/therapist rather than just being raw and exposed sharing in my humanity. As I was beginning to go into researcher-mode, she said, Chuck, I dont want to know what you think, I want to know what you feel. And, it stopped me dead in my tracks, thoughts ceased, and I proceeded to share an intimate, teary-eyed, painful experience from my childhood that touched and pulled out one of the thorns in my heart.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:36:47 +0000
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